Bound for trouble from the start
I've been walking through this old world in the dark
His tongue is heavy, his secrets buried so far within him that it is hard to brush off the debris and release them. His heart is even harder to uncover, so frozen in it’s case of never melting ice. And yet, this mystery woman who had once loved his sire, has set before him the greatest tempest he has ever faced. It wasn’t just that night of lovemaking (it had never just been sex, not when that level of passion and emotion had consumed them both) that had threatened to chisel away his fractured heart, piece by piece. It was that sense of peace and contentment he had finally felt for the very first time in his entire life. His whole world had been built on darkness, decay, sadness, loneliness. Yet she had shown him not only complete understanding but light at the end of a very long empty tunnel. Hope which had been given up so long ago.
But how does one convey that message? How could he ever truly explain to her just what she had done, what she meant to him? Even to Magnus he could never truly explain the pain he had suffered but perhaps that was because he was one of the sources to that hurt. He had never told a single soul what had truly happened in detail that day on the Beach. Or the secret of his torment with Carnage which he held within his ribcage with the trapped bear. Cruel secrets that festered and infected him with every second he draws breath. The icicle that had pierced his heart, made him cold and angry, how could he ever explain that feeling, that sensation? Knowing he would never truly feel warmth again until she had set a fire beneath his hooves?
Her forehead presses against the hollow of his throat and reflex makes him curve over her, scooping her into him. It sends shockwaves of desire through his skeletal body, after being away from her for so long. Pulling away, a pang of regret as she forces herself into his line of view, forcing him to make contact with her. A plea, a whisper. Begging him to speak. His throat constricts, pure panic evident along the ridges of his facial features. How could he ever subject her to such terror? How could he ever force his curses, his punishments, on her?
”I…” Hesitant, that encased heart pulsating rapidly in his chest. ”I’ve never felt anything like what I’ve felt for you.” The words thick but heated off his tongue, feeling stupid as he blindly rushes through his anxious confession. ”My life…. I lost my family when I was hours old, Magnus… His breath is ragged and gasping, barely afloat in this new drowning terror of trying to be honest, to unlock those secrets. ”I’ve never known any sort of happiness until I met you. I’ve never loved anyone but..” A hard swallow, he cannot look at her and instead glances down to where her hooves become submerged by thick foam.
”I look at you and for once know exactly what I want, exactly where I want to be.” Thick murmurs that threaten to drown in the crashing of waves behind him. ”I want you, only you. But I can’t force you to feel the same for me.” And here the resentment creeps into his resigned statement, thinking once more of Dahmer and everything that had happened since he had found out she was carrying his child. Ever since he had seen them together.
It’s a pathetic attempt at unloading his feelings but damnit he’s trying.
Ledger