» Innocence is always unsuspicious «
He had been rough, he had been forceful, an inconsiderate ass. I didn’t care that he hadn’t meant to leave. I didn’t care because all I wanted was an apology. A legitimate apology, not some shouted excuse. Maybe that was unfair… I know I had been harsh on him--but I had a right to, didn’t I? Well, he had gotten pushy, biting hard and fast. Lost in himself, his anger, and I think his own disappointment in himself, though I didn’t know for sure. He wanted to bury those feeling in me, in all meanings of the phrase. Ugh. It had been quite the heated moment, emotions were extremely high, years of buried hurt, loss, loneliness, regret all unleashed. And had he not seemed so angry that meeting might have ended differently. But his over-eager bites that tried to pull me closer only made me to panic and venomously pull and kick until I was away. I will never the forget the way my face contorted into a mix of fear and disgust. No, he hadn’t forced himself, but in the moment I hadn’t wanted to wait and figure out to what extent he was pulling on me. I hadn’t been able to speak, I had fled to Nerine, in hopes of shelter and protection. I had secluded myself there, watching the seasons change and building the cage back around my heart.
But a heart as full as mine was not easy to cage, and as time allowed clarity and perspective my heart grew ever restless of its seclusion. There was something about that teal eyes mongrel that my heart wasn’t done with. I couldn’t deny it no matter how I wished it, denied it. Oh, how I wanted to ignore that piece of my soul that called me away from my self-imposed seclusion. It was safe within my little corner of Nerine, no one could hurt me the way he did, as no one really knew I was here, there were no relationships...no one could hurt me here. It wasn’t really living though, was it? Sure I was alive, but it wasn’t a life. I could do more, be more. If I was just willing to face the truth in that corner of my heart. It may never be the fairy tale of my childhood again, but I would face him-- without judgment this time.
I left nerine and traveled the days through territories vastly different from the sea salted lands I knew so well these past months. Soon the oak and pine trees of the forest loomed overhead and I entered one of the few places that remained the same after Beqanna shook and created a new world for all her inhabitants. I had met Chem within the dark shadowy paths of these trees; never the wiser of his ulterior motives, never the wiser of what the future held. He had been everything I ever needed. I entered there, knowing that as all things Chem related, they would find each other. The forest seemed like just as good a place to look first. I didn’t want to go to the meadow, I needed fresh environment for a fresh start, and the forest called to me. I didn’t expect some perfect storybook reunion, I wasn’t young and naive anymore. We had history complicated messy history and I knew better now. Chem may never be the one, no matter how much my heart wished it. He was his own being he may never be able to give me what I needed. Maybe I would want it, after all this, I just needed clarity, or closure, or both.
Twigs snapped under my dark hooves and leaves crunched as I picked my way through the trees deeper into the woods. The land rose and fell as I trekked deeper into the pines the afternoon light cascaded a flickering dancing cluster of shadows onto the ground before me, While I didn’t see him yet something told me he was near. Like a moth to a flame, we always seemed to find each other...even if we were hazardous to the other.
Vessel
Kimber x Nymphetamine
ooc: @[Prism] I tried to blend where we left off withthe last meadow thread. It had been so long it didn't make sense to continue it. if you want me to edit anything let me know.
