I follow my mother reluctantly, as if to prove some point in my aging mind. I am growing, becoming less of a child, less reliant on her and her coddling. Do not get me wrong, I love my mother dearly, but I don’t wish to hide in her shadow. She is too busy hiding in it herself for there to be any room for me. I walk without motivation, my dark coat had begun to grow out, leaving me with a rough appearance I did not dislike. What I hadn’t come to terms with more was the changing of its color, not texture. Hairs of gray ran down my face now, from up top between my ears, all the way down my muzzle. Stray strands of the ash had flecked down my neck as well, I was changing, mother said it was normal. I would ‘gray’ and eventually become white, that sort of thing not uncommon.
I’ve noticed mother is again with foal, returning from her explorations with a new sibling for me. I am curious as to what it will be, a brother? A sister? I know there is still some time that I will have to wait to find that out. I do hope it’s a girl, a softer, warmer thing than I am. It still pains me when mom won’t meet my gaze, the copper color of my eyes an unwelcome sight. My breath had sucked into my chest when I had been told, my tears goading the truth from my dam. I had been at unrest with no father, felt spurned that the twins should have such a prominent figure, while I had none. ‘Where is my daddy?’ I had asked her one day before bursting into sobs, having learned that was what Jason was to my friends. My sire was called ‘Khaos’ a brute made of iron, the sheen that shone through my own orbs. He had forced himself on her, which only pained me more, the wind knocked out of me at the words. I did not speak to her for a good month, avoiding her presence except to nurse.
I arrive at the meeting several minutes after mother, even after a buckskin male that I do not know. The get together mostly boring to me, though I am happy for mother. She is advancing in her chosen skill, much to my own surprise, our King and Queen seem pleased with her efforts. She did try to be truthful, but I found her meek nature frustrating. She was always worried about the smallest of things, things I found irrelevant. Staying out after dark, wandering too far outside the borders without an escort, mostly any sense of real adventure was mother’s idea of danger.
I loved to stay out after dark, to watch another world come alive. I’d become an excellent hider, my eyes were gaining clarity that my ears lacked. We hadn’t known the cause yet, for the frequent ringing in my ears. I was told perhaps a head cold, I felt well though otherwise. I was told it would pass, it didn’t. My complaints did though, I didn’t want them to worry, didn’t need to be another broken thing for them to fix. There were two things that did light my interest, one was the army was open for our Kingdom. We were seriously lacking in that field, which left as vulnerable and weak to others. I had a mind to change that then, if the world was as big and scary as mother made it out to be, then why shouldn’t I try to make it less so?
”I want to join the war caste.” the words fly from my mouth as I step through the crowd to speak them. Whipping my dial at Mother’s protests, too young… little girl...please… Catching only fragments of her speech as I lace my ears, and walk away from them all.
