I Hate That I Love You {Kag}

[Kagerus]

Kagerus

{ and in my dreams I've kissed your lips a thousand times }

I am sure the Hyaline members thank you for your sacrifice. To this, I nod compassionately. I can tell that Clayton is doing his best to relate and to understand the place where I'm coming from, but I also know that he knows neither myself nor my wife very well, knowing us perhaps only vaguely through our spirited daughter, Warlight. I smile to think of Will, but quickly tame the expression, feeling sheepishly as if Clayton might somehow hear me thinking her name and then be mad at me for it.

Luckily, my question about his parents seems to distract him from any accidental mind reading, and I relax a little as he delivers his answer. While the young bay stallion meets my eyes only tentatively, I am rewarded by his full fledged response to my question; while it may have been 'too personal,' the fact of the matter is is that I refuse to shy away from getting to know the people who occupy the lands which I call home. And that means getting a little personal sometimes, even if to do so makes one or both of us uncomfortable.

"I never met Keeper, but Solace did, and she told me of her. She disappeared right around the time that I showed up in Hyaline, about six years ago." I puzzle briefly at this, considering that Clayton is not six years of age which must mean that his sister has been around more recently than my memory suggests, but I do not dwell on the inconsistency. Time here is weird as hell, and I would give my right hoof to find someone who actually knows how to interpret its tom foolery.

I am nodding resolutely at his explanation, with a quaint answer just about off my tongue, when Clayton suddenly takes the lead in the conversation by uttering my name. Silence and very intrigued, I perk my ears to illustrate my attention, eyes holding his gaze evenly but not with any pressure or judgement. Though, when he says what he says, I do blink once. No, twice.

Did I mention that sometimes these things get uncomfortable? Damn, this little stallion is beating me at my own game.

Inhaling, and treading very lightly considering that this is my daughters assumedly ex-boyfriend, I begin to unravel something that resembles an answer. "That is a very complicated question, Clayton, and I'm afraid that the answer to it is no different... The love that I feel for Solace, and she for me, is unlike anything either of us have ever felt or given to another person." I pause, gauging his reaction, and hoping that I won't see too much hope spread in his chest. Just in case I might, I go further in my explanation.

"But, Solace was not my first love, and I was not hers... We each had children with other people before we realized what there was between us." I do not name the children specifically, unwilling to purposefully pit them against their full-blooded siblings when they are, too me, equally as special, brilliant, capable, and amazing. "So, yes and no, is the long and short of it I suppose."

Feeling like it's my turn to make him uncomfortable, I narrow my eyes a teensy tinsy little bit before carefully posing my own question. A very, very loaded one.

"Why do you ask, Clayton? You can tell me the truth."

@[Clayton]