[private] don't get cut on my edges • kagerus

[Kagerus]

kagerus

and in my dreams, i kissed your lips a thousand times

The pastel purple hue of the sky feels anticlimactic, a poor finale for a number of things. The blizzard and the thunder storm deserve an ending far greater than a mute violet; but more than that, my wife deserves every colour under the sun as she considers her legacy and its continuation. Perhaps it is selfish of me to pin the blame of her distanced consciousness on something as trivial and uncontrollable as the colour of the sunrise, but I do.

Although things will be okay no matter what, bitterness still finds its way to the most vulnerable part of my heart these days. I love my wife; I would be a fool to blatantly and wholeheartedly accept the proposal she had made not so very long ago. But I want what is best for her - always.

(A strange scent.)

It pulls my attention away, though I fight its gravity with a clench of my jaw and a last lingering glower for the pathetic sky. On any other day, I might have found it beautiful; but time alone will be responsible for when I again begin to find beauty in anything around me, save perhaps my children. Even the thought of them causes a squeezing of the muscles surrounding my heart, as I consider that the next ones may be some time in coming.

(You will be alone - we have all seen how that goes.)
Solace will still be with me - and even when she isn't, she has taught me how to cope better than I knew how to before.
(Sure, you say that now, but we both know where you'll end up by the end of this; the bottom of the lake has always been calling your name, even when you can't here it.)
Please, leave me alone...

Shaking my head abruptly to clear it of the malicious voice who comes around when times get hard, I step from the glade of trees I'd been sheltering beneath to approach the scent of the stallion. The trail of it leads me directly to the cove, though it appears more brown and blue and gray than silver this morning. Standing next to this dull scenery, however, is someone far more captivating. The gold-and-bronze shimmer of the male's scaled hide makes me think inadvertently of Vulgaris, a stallion whose name leaves the taste of blood and ash upon my tongue. This would be so even if he had just tried to kill me that one time - but now, to add insult to injury, he has stolen one of my Primarchs.

Still, I can tell by the countenance of the man before me that no such threats are to be distributed; and what's more, I recognize him immediately, thanks to Solace's description.

I walk calmly with my antlered head lowered some as I navigate the rocky field which leads to the black sand beach of the cove, a fragmented smile gracing my lips as my obsidian hooves sink into just that substance. Without much wait, I stand beside the founder of my nation, the leopard markings upon my hide a complimentary sight to his dragon's scales.

"Amet," I say at last, though not unkindly. My nutmeg eyes shift from where they had been studying the bay to meet his, that slight smile growing some, then hastily vanishing in exchange for a sharp expression. "How nice to finally meet you. I am Kagerus, though I assume that Solace has told you as much."

Cutting off my speech here with a slow blink of my eyes and a tilt of my head as the wind blows my forelock around, I await the stallion's response. A part of me wants to get the niceties over with and to cut to the chase; but the coy, bitter, scared part of me wants to know this man before I trust him with much, much more than practically any stranger deserves.