this time I’m torn, please wake me if I lose that face
search in these eyes: there’s still fire in the darkness
She could feel his eyes on her, could feel it as if he were right next to her. It made it hard to breathe, hard to pretend she was relaxed. But her babies were here and somehow they'd missed her. And he'd made them all beautiful gifts, so precisely crafted with his iron, a little piece of him for each of them.
It pinched her heart to see him use his magic for good, and not what it'd been used for so many years ago. It hurt to see that he changed so much, that he was something better now, something incredible. It would've been so much easier to hate him and not have to feel the rejection that she was never good enough and never would be. He was perfect and she was still nothing.
She was able to ignore his attention the rest of the time, put all her focus on the children and exclaiming with delight at their gifts and their stories, their happiness. She even held them close. A little. Though she had never been affectionate like they'd learned from their dads. At least someone had taught it to them. It was probably more desirable.
When Kali had finally left her side to join her big brother, Wallace felt him slide up to her and she froze in place. Her heart raced immediately and she didn't take her eyes off her babies as he breathed her scent, brushed his lips over her shoulder. She gasped quietly when he nipped her neck sharply, finally glanced at him when he urged her to walk with him.
Whatever he wanted, it was best the kids weren't near to see it. So with a quick glance at Reilly, she followed.
Fear warred with an old ache that never seemed to go away. A stupid one that she hated with a passion. She was so stupid. She shouldn't have even been going with him, not especially without Reilly.
He turned and met her eyes, and her heart hammered at an alarming rate at the look in them. She'd definitely made a mistake. She shouldn't have come with him alone. He stepped in close and she backed up, her brown eyes wide and mouth parted, until there was a tree firmly at her back and he kept coming, leaning in close. God, her heart was about to leap out of her throat.
His solid muzzle swept against her face like the barrel of a gun. He was danger, and power, and grace. He was terrifying and erotic. It wasn't the same without the taint of fear. She felt it hotter, stronger when laced with fear thanks to him, practically craved it. She was so broken.
He grazed her cheek and she caught a noise in her throat, locked in place with a roar in her ears that couldn't seem to drown out his sexy murmur. "You left me." His lips went to her ear, clipped the edge, and she took a breath and swallowed. "I didn't like it." Why was he playing this game?
But she'd always been stupid, speaking without thinking. It was exactly what had gotten her in his grasp in the first place so long ago.
"Disappointment sucks, doesn't it? Sounds like a personal problem," she said dryly, grateful for the strength in her voice despite her erratic pulse. She was such a fighter at all the wrong times. "Reilly won't appreciate this," she reminded him, throwing his name up like it might save her. Kirby never meant any of this anyway. She was just a body.
