and let me crawl inside your veins. I'll build a wall, give you a ball and chain.
Their childhoods could have almost been mirror images, but Starsin rarely looked back on hers. She remembers her mother, alabaster and jade-eyed, careless and seemingly ignorant to the star-studded filly that fought to keep up with her quick pace. She had lost her mother more times than she could remember, and at first, she didn’t seem to notice how she was never particularly happy about being found, nor did she ever seem concerned at her young daughter having been gone. The cold ache that settled like a rock in her chest when she finally realized Starlust was doing it on purpose was something she would never forget. That was the moment something in her had changed, when something had clicked out of place and was lost forever.
She could have spent her entire life trying to fill that hole, but instead she built a wall around it. There were days that Ophanim almost breached it; when she let her guard down in their quiet moments, when she let his loyal and loving thoughts fill her head and she almost dared to see what would happen if she just gave into him.
She always thought better of it, for her distrust was larger than her need for love.
When her dark blue eyes land on the golden dragon-girl with the halo floating above her head, she remembers why she never let herself trust anyone.
Perhaps someone weaker than herself would have faltered, would have let the emotion show on their face. She sees the gilded markings, the halo, and something all too familiar in those golden eyes — not the right color, but still, they are what cement her suspicions. If her heart drops through the earth, she doesn’t show it. She is stoic, with a look that could almost be mistaken for boredom so carefully positioned on her poised face, as she answers without really looking at the little girl, “Not all strangers are friendly, little Alita.” The tone of her voice is flat, absent of the honeyed lilt it usually possessed. It would be so easy to grab the nearly newborn by the neck and drag her back to Ophanim, just so she could see the look on his face as he tried to explain himself, but that sounded a lot like hard work, and Starsin wasn’t keen on breaking a sweat today.
Work smarter, not harder.
And so she lets a smile edge across her lips, angling her head to better look at her. She was a pretty little thing, and she is sure she would like her more if she didn’t exist because Ophanim apparently had no self-control, or he was just an incredibly good liar, or both. “Good thing it’s me you found. I’m Starsin.” Her voice is softer now, dulling the sharpness that she felt, even though she was inwardly still boiling. She glances around, letting her gaze linger across a few of the faces that drifted nearby. “Where’s your mom?” She felt like she knew the kind Ophanim would go for — someone doe-eyed and sweet, someone completely opposite of her. Her simmering stare settled on every female face nearby, as she struggles to ignore the ever mounting heat of betrayal that continued to rise.
starsin
it’s not like me to be so mean. you’re all I wanted.
( just let me hold you Like a hostage. )
