04-16-2019, 05:49 PM
" every scar will build my throne. "
In his mind, he swims in midnight oceans where the water is so thick and black that forgets what the sun feels like on his skin. He’s been down there so long that the idea of the surface above is like a distant dream from a past life. There, in the perfect dark, he is safe and everyone is safe from him. But every time she comes near him, he’s pried from the frigid depths and tossed onto the shore while his life is pressed like a hot brand against his heart. How much farther could he possibly fall? She speaks and he forces himself to keep watching the lines of her face as they spell out her infinite sorrow. Look, look upon the woman you ruined. See how her heart shatters every time you’re close?
Darling has seen a hundred different kinds of pain but they all manage to tear right through her like a fresh wound every time. She tears her heart open and lets all of her love come spilling out over Leliana. She isn’t a healer and she has no magic to suture the ragged scar tissue but she’s got a doormat soul just ready to serve again.
Her head curls over Leliana’s neck the way her own mother used to when she was first born, hugging her tight so the tired girl might find some stability in this awful world. Darling knows he’s just like their father and she wants to tell her to save her strength, save her love for someone else, but it’s never any use. Her parents loved each other until there was nothing left of them, awful as her father was.
Vulgaris feels his breath catch in his throat when she tries to heal him once more. He even takes a step back. But before he can flee from them both, Darling is already back at his side as she speaks so softly in his ear. The serpent strains to hear her even being this close.
“Hasn’t our family suffered enough, Vulgaris? Can at least one of us find happiness?”
The words ache to hear and he feels his shoulders slump at the sound of her voice cracking. How selfish, to be the one child in the family offered such a perfect life, only for him to smash every bit of it to pieces. His brothers and sisters each suffered some new level of agony while he alone found love. A slow sigh escapes from his lips as he leans his head to hers, the warm golden light of Leliana’s magic curling around his face like delicate hands.
“I’m sorry, Darling. I don’t mean to be so stupid,” he mumbles softly before she finally pulls away, nudging him from her side. He swallows hard and hesitates before finally moving closer to Leliana. Each step is slow and careful but, after an eternity of fear and uncertainty, his lips (newly formed and aching for her) find her jaw to place a thousand gentle kisses against her face and down her neck.
“I still don’t know who I am, Leliana, but I know who I want to be.”
VulgariS
