I’ll love you til the sun dies, Ether

[Briseis]

little do you know how I'm breaking while you fall asleep,
little do you know I'm still haunted by the memories,
little do you know I'm trying to pick myself up piece by piece

She has never known happiness such as this, and there is a part of her that is terrified of it. Her memories before coming to Beqanna were still a black void; a giant blind spot that she couldn’t recall, except for her nightmares. Even then, it was but mere flickers (and for that, she was grateful). But something tells her that her past was better off exactly where she had left it. There had been a time that she had frustrated herself over and over in her effort to remember what had come before she had washed upon these shores. When she fought every night to see the face of her nightmares, to try and understand what she was running from.

Ether had eradicated everything.

Even when her nightmares had morphed into the stallion that lurked in the forest, Ether had effortlessly all but chased them away. He had turned into the key to her happiness, and she finds that she does not know how to move forward from here. To feel such an immeasurable level of peace as they both stood over their newborn son was a foreign feeling. She wants to cling to it, and shy from it all at once. But when her quiet brown eyes watch him, and see the way his own golden gaze has softened as his lips caress against the unsteady colt's back, she chooses to hold on. She would rather cling to whatever threads of happiness she found with him than waste a single moment doing otherwise.

By now, the colt was slightly more sure of his legs, having managed to feel his away along his mother’s side. His small tail flicked back and forth as he nursed, for now unaware – or just uncaring – of what his parents were doing.

The feel of Ether’s lips against her cheek and neck makes her heart somersault, but she responds to his statement with a light laugh. “I’ve been thinking about it for awhile. I suppose I could have ran some of my ideas by you first.” Her black lips trail against his cool skin, adding in a quiet, coy manner, “I guess we know better for next time.”

The blue colt pulled away, but not before haphazardly wiping the remnants of milk from his face on his mother’s black side. It reminded her of Misfit, and it caused a twinge in her chest; she rarely saw him anymore, but she knew he much preferred the company of Haunt than her, just as Chryseis had eventually outgrown her. It was hard to believe, she found herself thinking as she caressed her lips against the newborn’s cheek, that one day he wouldn’t need her, either. But now, the colt was looking up at his father, his small head tilted in concentration at the word they both kept saying. “T...Torryn,” He mimics, though it is clumsy and awkward on his newborn tongue. “Torryn,” He says again, still slow, but forming easier in his mouth. Satisfied, and with a sleepy smile on his face, he lowers himself to ground just below where his father stood. Being alive was exhausting, he has decided.

With careful steps, Briseis sidles herself alongside of Ether, cautious to not disturb their now sleeping son. She curls into him, as she has done so many times before, and she presses a kiss against his neck before resting her head against his shoulder. “I love you, Ether.” The hushed words are uttered against his skin, her eyes drifting closed in a rare moment of serenity. There was so much more that she could say, and somehow those three words don’t even seem to suffice.

BRISEIS

underneath it all I'm held captive by the hole inside,
I've been holding back for the fear that you might change your mind