06-09-2019, 12:56 AM
He twists the meaning of her words, and if she hadn’t already been burning, she certainly was now. “That’s not what I meant,” the words spit from her tongue like sparks, her smoldering brown eyes narrowing as the irritance settles into the lines of her face. She didn’t think herself better than anyone. If anything, she didn’t think she deserved any of the normalcy of being so close to everyone. She was terrified of accidentally burning someone; someone that didn’t know, someone that might reach out and touch to be friendly. But above all else, she was terrified of finding someone that she wanted to touch, and that she would want to have touch her, and having to come to terms with the fact that it would never be possible.
It was so much easier to just be alone, away from them, and to keep all hope locked away with her.
She can feel tears stinging in her throat, building that familiar ache that she can’t seem to swallow away, but they at least never manage to reach her eyes. “I don’t think anyone is lowly,” there is a toxic emphasis on the last word, her lips twisting into a sneer as she tries to rein in her defensive wall that was building faster than she could keep up with. She wanted to keep her temper from flaring, she wanted to apologize and calmly explain what she had meant, but instead the sword-like edge remains in her voice as she snaps back, “But your self-esteem must be almost non-existent if that was the conclusion you jumped to.”
She regrets it almost as soon as she said it. She wasn’t mean; not at her core, not when you peeled back the calloused layers she had been forced to build. Something about him though seemed to ignite every flame she had tried to keep dead, and if she wasn’t so busy putting out her own fires, she would have maybe realized that he was fighting the same internal battle. Somewhere, they had the ability to understand each other perhaps better than anyone, and yet they were so focused on waging war on each other that neither of them could see it.
“Why?” She asks him after a brief hesitation, her muscles still hard and unmoving beneath her auburn skin. She watches him warily, thinking that other than the antlers, and the wings that morphed and changed, he seemed normal. But then again, so did she.
@[brigade]
It was so much easier to just be alone, away from them, and to keep all hope locked away with her.
She can feel tears stinging in her throat, building that familiar ache that she can’t seem to swallow away, but they at least never manage to reach her eyes. “I don’t think anyone is lowly,” there is a toxic emphasis on the last word, her lips twisting into a sneer as she tries to rein in her defensive wall that was building faster than she could keep up with. She wanted to keep her temper from flaring, she wanted to apologize and calmly explain what she had meant, but instead the sword-like edge remains in her voice as she snaps back, “But your self-esteem must be almost non-existent if that was the conclusion you jumped to.”
She regrets it almost as soon as she said it. She wasn’t mean; not at her core, not when you peeled back the calloused layers she had been forced to build. Something about him though seemed to ignite every flame she had tried to keep dead, and if she wasn’t so busy putting out her own fires, she would have maybe realized that he was fighting the same internal battle. Somewhere, they had the ability to understand each other perhaps better than anyone, and yet they were so focused on waging war on each other that neither of them could see it.
“Why?” She asks him after a brief hesitation, her muscles still hard and unmoving beneath her auburn skin. She watches him warily, thinking that other than the antlers, and the wings that morphed and changed, he seemed normal. But then again, so did she.
B R I N L Y
burn until our lives become the embers
burn until our lives become the embers
@[brigade]