What he wants to do is fucking cry. He wants to fucking scream into the night, to release every shivering atom from his body until he is absolutely, goddamn nothing. How much easier it will be, he thinks, once I am nothing.
Starsin is here, though, visceral - her skin hot against his own. The only thing in the universe that keeps him still, for now.
We only have tonight.
Litotes wants to rage against those words, to bury his teeth in her neck until the only thing she can utter is his name. The Archon has no idea what this is, but will not allow it to be brief. I won’t let this slip away, too. He almost breaks against that thought, almost slumps into Starsin and then slinks away. He envisions it, just for a split second, what it would be like to escape every trap he has laid for himself.
So, he is slow when he succumbs. Not to hunger or to lust, but a perfect, peaceful limbo. The cremello twines around Starsin, brushing shimmering lips along every piece of her he can muster. He thinks he must have circled her three times, tasting every inch, with how dizzy he is - but he has hardly made it around her hips.
There are words that want to spill off of his tongue, but he presses them into the soft gray of her coat. Every kiss is a promise that he will stay here, with her, until the day breaks and they are no more. He whispers that they will exist like this forever, a memory he will share only with her, even after they return to their same old routine. No matter the pain, sharing this with Starsin is so much more important. He swears to never forget.
The hunger finally sets in.
Litotes grows fiercer with his bites, wanting Starsin to feel how he cares for her while simultaneously wanting to feel her writhe beneath him. He stops, leans into her side and rests his along her hindquarters. His tail flicks teasingly at her front legs.
“What do you want, Starsin, hmm?” he murmurs into the dock of her tail, eyes half-way closed with want. Lie grazes her skin with his teeth, a touch so soft it is almost not there. “Tell me what you want.”
i don't want your pity, i just want somebody near me
guess i'm a coward, i just want to feel all right
