08-21-2019, 03:06 PM
It occurs to him that it could have been perceived as an insult.
In asking, he could have been implying that she was frivolous with her time and her affection.
He had not, of course.
Even if he had been, it is none of his business whose company she chooses to keep.
It was merely the only way he knew how to breach the subject.
For him, there have been others. But if a child has come from any of those unions, he does not know it. Something shifts in the cavern of his chest, fractures, arrests the air in his lungs as if he has been kicked swiftly in the gut. Still, the mouth stays pressed into a thin, thoughtful line and, for the moment, all he can manage is a nod of understanding.
He wonders if she regrets it, remembers what she’d said about never being able to leave her children behind. He wonders if she resents the fact that she will be shackled with his child, too. He knows he should ask, he should offer to take the child if she’s does not want the constant reminder of them. Of him. But he is not fit to raise a child.
So, he swallows whatever offer might have alighted on his tongue and says, “I don’t regret it.”
In asking, he could have been implying that she was frivolous with her time and her affection.
He had not, of course.
Even if he had been, it is none of his business whose company she chooses to keep.
It was merely the only way he knew how to breach the subject.
For him, there have been others. But if a child has come from any of those unions, he does not know it. Something shifts in the cavern of his chest, fractures, arrests the air in his lungs as if he has been kicked swiftly in the gut. Still, the mouth stays pressed into a thin, thoughtful line and, for the moment, all he can manage is a nod of understanding.
He wonders if she regrets it, remembers what she’d said about never being able to leave her children behind. He wonders if she resents the fact that she will be shackled with his child, too. He knows he should ask, he should offer to take the child if she’s does not want the constant reminder of them. Of him. But he is not fit to raise a child.
So, he swallows whatever offer might have alighted on his tongue and says, “I don’t regret it.”