like the bullet you never saw coming; beth

[bethlehem]

sometimes i wonder, will god ever forgive us for what we've done to each other? B E T H L E H E M then i look around and realize, god left this place a long time ago She folds like a child scorned. He resents this, too. Because it makes him the villain. Because, suddenly, he is the bad guy when she is the one who pushed him until he broke. His heart adopts a new, frantic kind of beat as he watches her. Watches her bow her head, watches her hide behind the tangles of her forelock. It makes his vision strobe to see the tears continue to streak down her cheeks. He is not immune to anger. Certainly no man is. But this evokes in him a rage he has only come by a handful of times before. Because he did not ask for this. Because he’d been minding his own goddamned business when she’d injected herself into his life with all of the vicious anger he hadn’t deserved then either. “No,” he snaps, tries in vain to steady himself. “No, you don’t get to spit all your anger at me and then play the fucking victim. You don’t get to push me until I break and then pretend like I’m the fucking bad guy here.” The muscles twitch and tremble beneath the surface of his skin. “I did nothing to deserve your hatred, Adna.” He grits his teeth, desperate for some way to rein in his anger before it slips too thoroughly out of his control. “I tried to be nice. I tried to be patient. But you weren’t happy with that. Are you fucking happy now? This is what you wanted, isn’t it?”