09-25-2019, 01:45 PM
I wander.
Raul, the careless boy, has left me to my own devices, left me and hoped I'd stay put. He's the last one to go, my blustery lad, but go he does. Santana and that graceless girl, they escaped some time ago. My little birds, free of the nest. Fuck 'em. I never asked them to stay, and I never wanted them to hold me down. They would leave, I knew, it was only ever a matter of time.
And now I am erratic, light throbbing in staccato sparks along my skin, tingling with the freedom of it. I had had spare moments to myself some months ago, before the cold and wet set in. Before I realized they weren't coming back. He visited me, left me a present. Not the one I wanted, but beggars can't be choosers, and now I'm being followed. Quiet, quiet as a mouse, bright eyes can't avoid the sky tinged thing forever. No, he's there, I catch him in the corners of my eye, and I have to lose it. Fly away, you hopeless creature, leave your troubles behind you!
So I do, and it's nice to be alone. Just me, myself and an irrational fear of heights. This shouldn't work, and it doesn't. I didn't fly, my wing is dragging, draining, letting me down. But I'm alone so it doesn't matter as much. Alone, and I'm not sure where I left my little lightning bug? Oh well. He'll find his own way, ready or not. They all do in the end. I'm going to take a walk and see where this sorry tale goes.
My tail is sorry, too, tangled and ragged. I just have not kept myself up lately, no sir. A sad little ghost of what was once a beautiful disaster. My shiny self is now dull and thin. Bones beneath the skin. My beautiful bones, white and red and so close and yet so far. I can see them, peeking through the ruptured skin, shattered and dead. I was shattered and dead. Now I'm just shattered. A pane of ice dropped from very high, but it still has to be ice. Can't stop that, even if it's not useful to anyone anymore. They keep sticking it back together and hoping for a miracle. Instead some pieces got left out and now it's a pretty, impossible thing.
Impossible. Impossible, impossible, impossible. Such a fun word. A challenge in its sincerity, and what am I but a challenge? Too easy, that's what. I look at him a while longer, realize I've been staring already too long. He just appeared before my eyes, like the ones I miss the most. A sudden focus, and I know I'm not alone. Unfortunate. Still, manners, shall we?
"What are you doing in the river?" I ask, all politeness, all kindness. "Have we met?" If I'm seeing him, we must have. I know no strangers anymore. Just some shadowed memories that jump out at me when I least expect. But they're all familiar, they're all true. A feather drips to the water, swirls away. My eyes focus on the missing thing, watch it intent as it leaves forever. Everything leaves, and it'll be forever soon.
@[Leilan]
Raul, the careless boy, has left me to my own devices, left me and hoped I'd stay put. He's the last one to go, my blustery lad, but go he does. Santana and that graceless girl, they escaped some time ago. My little birds, free of the nest. Fuck 'em. I never asked them to stay, and I never wanted them to hold me down. They would leave, I knew, it was only ever a matter of time.
And now I am erratic, light throbbing in staccato sparks along my skin, tingling with the freedom of it. I had had spare moments to myself some months ago, before the cold and wet set in. Before I realized they weren't coming back. He visited me, left me a present. Not the one I wanted, but beggars can't be choosers, and now I'm being followed. Quiet, quiet as a mouse, bright eyes can't avoid the sky tinged thing forever. No, he's there, I catch him in the corners of my eye, and I have to lose it. Fly away, you hopeless creature, leave your troubles behind you!
So I do, and it's nice to be alone. Just me, myself and an irrational fear of heights. This shouldn't work, and it doesn't. I didn't fly, my wing is dragging, draining, letting me down. But I'm alone so it doesn't matter as much. Alone, and I'm not sure where I left my little lightning bug? Oh well. He'll find his own way, ready or not. They all do in the end. I'm going to take a walk and see where this sorry tale goes.
My tail is sorry, too, tangled and ragged. I just have not kept myself up lately, no sir. A sad little ghost of what was once a beautiful disaster. My shiny self is now dull and thin. Bones beneath the skin. My beautiful bones, white and red and so close and yet so far. I can see them, peeking through the ruptured skin, shattered and dead. I was shattered and dead. Now I'm just shattered. A pane of ice dropped from very high, but it still has to be ice. Can't stop that, even if it's not useful to anyone anymore. They keep sticking it back together and hoping for a miracle. Instead some pieces got left out and now it's a pretty, impossible thing.
Impossible. Impossible, impossible, impossible. Such a fun word. A challenge in its sincerity, and what am I but a challenge? Too easy, that's what. I look at him a while longer, realize I've been staring already too long. He just appeared before my eyes, like the ones I miss the most. A sudden focus, and I know I'm not alone. Unfortunate. Still, manners, shall we?
"What are you doing in the river?" I ask, all politeness, all kindness. "Have we met?" If I'm seeing him, we must have. I know no strangers anymore. Just some shadowed memories that jump out at me when I least expect. But they're all familiar, they're all true. A feather drips to the water, swirls away. My eyes focus on the missing thing, watch it intent as it leaves forever. Everything leaves, and it'll be forever soon.
@[Leilan]