DAWN
it must be about as hard as forgetting your best friend
She has been fairly distant from everything lately – she feels as though she is more of a figurehead than an actual ruling queen, but she finds that recently she feels no desire to include herself with politics, mostly letting Litotes take the reins and lead the East to where it needs to be. She supports him in every decision that he makes and their friendship has not wavered, but she has been focusing her attention on where it is needed most – her youngest children, sweet Darkling and mischievous Ghaul. The young boy follows at his father’s side most days, but she has grown quite fond of the eyeless boy who would rather destroy rabbits and collect odd knick knacks than do more... normal things. As odd as he is, she adores him, and considers him a son of her own.
As ever, her mind wanders to Rhaegor and that night in the river, and she aches for what she cannot have. He is a drifter, always in and out, and she misses him so deeply that some days, it hurts to breathe. All the golden girl has ever wanted was to love someone and feel that love so purely in return, but no matter what she does her desire for Sunny never seems to wane, and if she is hung up on him for all of eternity... she doesn’t deserve the pure love from another.
But she just knows, that if this life stretches on until the sun splits apart and swallows them whole, she will love him still.
It breaks her to pieces to even think about.
It is there that her coruler will find her, curled up in the blinding sun that scorches the dry Pangean lands, longing for something that was never meant to be. She wonders if he will be mad at her, for being so entirely absent over the last long months, and she truly has no excuse to give him. She won’t blame him if he is – she has been a rotten queen, and maybe all she needs is a good verbal lashing to rise out of this slump she can’t seem to escape on her own.
@[litotes] sorry she's depresso