She gave in.
Where did the lines blur between motherhood and lust? When did she first see Dovev as an adult – a lover – instead of the son she had adopted?
But does it really matter now?
When she looks back over her shoulder she no longer sees a slender body, but instead a stomach that is heavily pregnant with her sins. It seems wrong, and yet so right, so have bedded him and to have succumbed to her unclean notions. For years – had it been that long? – she battled herself (and him) to maintain a mother-son relationship despite whatever subconscious thoughts festered in her soul. Dovev sated her need for attention and for adoration. When the world abandoned her, he found her.
But where is he now?
That evening had been everything she wanted – needed – but it was fleeting. By the crisp morning, when the sunset painted the world in vibrant color, Dovev was gone and Cerva was left alone under the dappled shade of the clouds. For hours, she remained underneath that adolescent oak tree in hopes that he would return, but those hours melted into days which turned into months. The autumn came to an end as the leaves fell to the ground and a blanket of snow settled on top of that, and on top of her like an abandoned toy. Again, she was forgotten. Again, she was left, but this time she is heavy with child. Perhaps, this foal is meant to be her sanctuary and her relief from solitude.
Perhaps this child will be her savior in a world where she never truly belonged.
Cerva