06-09-2017, 08:24 PM
kharon
It all hurt. It hurt so bad. He didn't understand this. And, god, he didn't want to be anything like his grandfather. But..Kylin. He wanted Kylin.
Father pulled him in to his chest, and he ducked his head to fit better, pressing a damp cheek to the solid iron. He guessed he'd gotten taller since the last time Dad had held him so close. And he heard every word his father said, but maybe it was that smooth voice that really soothed him. Just the exact same as he'd heard it in Mother's mind that one time so long ago. As though he were a child again, safe at home without worries and Father's voice.
Kharon pushed closer as the hurt kept coming, burying himself in the shelter of his father's embrace even as he took every sting from what he was saying. The right voice but all the wrong words. Everything his dad knew he needed to hear.
She wasn't his. Not his to touch. Not hers to touch. She'll touch other boys, he'll touch other girls. And then they'd have sex with others, too. Because she wasn't his. And he wasn't hers. Sex with other girls. Fall in love with other girls. It all sounded so ridiculous, so backwards. So mixed up. Everything was so messed up.
It was all so much to take in. So painful. Nothing at all like what he'd wanted to here, and everything like what he'd been afraid to hear. Damn, he should have payed more attention. Shouldn't have gotten caught watching her. This never should have happened. Why did things have to change?
Dad sighed and brushed the hair from Kharon's face. He looked up at him, gray for gray, but maybe up was only up because his head was lowered. Had he really grown so much? He had to make the choice, Father said. Flirt with disaster. Sleep next to her. Sneak off together. Touching each other. It all sounded good, and he felt awful that it did. Was he terrible for liking it? Was he bad?
Or he could be better. Put distance between them. That sucked to even think about. To even consider. Kylin had always been at his side. Find somewhere else to sleep? Sleep without her curled next to him? He could be at his dad's side, though. He always loved more time with his dad, even if it was only for sleep. He wanted to be just like him. He wanted Dad to always love him.
He didn't know what to say, still just soaking it all in, trying to understand it or accept it, so he didn't say anything.
It wouldn't be easy, Dad said. Especially not at first. And he'd help find girls to talk to. Kharon grimaced at the thought of talking to other girls. Of course he had before, but... Kylin had usually been there too, and it wasn't the same, maybe. Going somewhere without Kylin sounded a little weird too.
He gave Father a hesitant smile though. A chip off the old block? He really thought so? Handsome, smart, a good heart. Kharon slowly slipped back into himself, the attractive boy with touseled hair and confident eyes. He was beautiful, wasn't he? Because he looked like his father, and Father was gorgeous. He supposed he didn't really get anything from Mother. That was probably for the best. Maybe that sharp little glitter of blades when he was mad, but he wasn't angry often enough to know for sure. Rarely, so.
"You know what? I think you're old enough to party with your old man." Kharon's eyes shined with curiosity, just a bit hopeful. "The Forest? We'll leave the island?" He couldn't help but be interested in that. Leaving somewhere with his dad, wow! Maybe find some girls to flirt with, he said. Maybe do more than flirt, he added with a nudge to Kharon's shoulder.
He blushed, but held the smile. Girls were okay, maybe, but more than talking didn't sound like such a good idea. Didn't really sound so appealing if Kylin wasn't there with him. But he nodded, because he wasn't dumb enough to miss out on a chance to go out with Dad.
"Yeah.. Okay, I guess."
Father pulled him in to his chest, and he ducked his head to fit better, pressing a damp cheek to the solid iron. He guessed he'd gotten taller since the last time Dad had held him so close. And he heard every word his father said, but maybe it was that smooth voice that really soothed him. Just the exact same as he'd heard it in Mother's mind that one time so long ago. As though he were a child again, safe at home without worries and Father's voice.
Kharon pushed closer as the hurt kept coming, burying himself in the shelter of his father's embrace even as he took every sting from what he was saying. The right voice but all the wrong words. Everything his dad knew he needed to hear.
She wasn't his. Not his to touch. Not hers to touch. She'll touch other boys, he'll touch other girls. And then they'd have sex with others, too. Because she wasn't his. And he wasn't hers. Sex with other girls. Fall in love with other girls. It all sounded so ridiculous, so backwards. So mixed up. Everything was so messed up.
It was all so much to take in. So painful. Nothing at all like what he'd wanted to here, and everything like what he'd been afraid to hear. Damn, he should have payed more attention. Shouldn't have gotten caught watching her. This never should have happened. Why did things have to change?
Dad sighed and brushed the hair from Kharon's face. He looked up at him, gray for gray, but maybe up was only up because his head was lowered. Had he really grown so much? He had to make the choice, Father said. Flirt with disaster. Sleep next to her. Sneak off together. Touching each other. It all sounded good, and he felt awful that it did. Was he terrible for liking it? Was he bad?
Or he could be better. Put distance between them. That sucked to even think about. To even consider. Kylin had always been at his side. Find somewhere else to sleep? Sleep without her curled next to him? He could be at his dad's side, though. He always loved more time with his dad, even if it was only for sleep. He wanted to be just like him. He wanted Dad to always love him.
He didn't know what to say, still just soaking it all in, trying to understand it or accept it, so he didn't say anything.
It wouldn't be easy, Dad said. Especially not at first. And he'd help find girls to talk to. Kharon grimaced at the thought of talking to other girls. Of course he had before, but... Kylin had usually been there too, and it wasn't the same, maybe. Going somewhere without Kylin sounded a little weird too.
He gave Father a hesitant smile though. A chip off the old block? He really thought so? Handsome, smart, a good heart. Kharon slowly slipped back into himself, the attractive boy with touseled hair and confident eyes. He was beautiful, wasn't he? Because he looked like his father, and Father was gorgeous. He supposed he didn't really get anything from Mother. That was probably for the best. Maybe that sharp little glitter of blades when he was mad, but he wasn't angry often enough to know for sure. Rarely, so.
"You know what? I think you're old enough to party with your old man." Kharon's eyes shined with curiosity, just a bit hopeful. "The Forest? We'll leave the island?" He couldn't help but be interested in that. Leaving somewhere with his dad, wow! Maybe find some girls to flirt with, he said. Maybe do more than flirt, he added with a nudge to Kharon's shoulder.
He blushed, but held the smile. Girls were okay, maybe, but more than talking didn't sound like such a good idea. Didn't really sound so appealing if Kylin wasn't there with him. But he nodded, because he wasn't dumb enough to miss out on a chance to go out with Dad.
"Yeah.. Okay, I guess."