They speak of the Jungle first – and unlike the Deserts, this is a place Kellyn hasn’t been. She’s skirted the edges, curious, but never in the same time-continuum as the living, and never when she might encounter another living being. It had been hot and humid, but bursting with the smells of life. Flowers and animals and birds she didn’t recognize; dense and green and unlike anywhere else she’d ever been. Malka speaks of opportunities there, refers to the Jungle women as Sisters in the same way Brennen has always referred to his companions as Brothers. Her father has never addressed the other Tundra men that way – he has always been there, but yet apart from them.
Kellyn fears being that piece of the Jungle that her father is of the Tundra – not quite belonging, for one reason or another. Exploring the Jungle would be a grand adventure, and the chance to belong to a tight knit group intrigues her. To be part of something as completely as Brennen is of the Tundra – nearly inseparable, as if they do not exist independently – is a thought that causes a moment of hope to swell in her chest. But she knows that she wouldn’t be able to hold a thing forever – not even if it filled her heart with belonging. And the Jungle, like the Tundra, is forever. Still, she smiles at Malka, and if it’s sad for something she’ll never have, probably no one will notice.
Zilpah takes up the thread of conversation, and a part of Kellyn is relieved that Yael is no longer Queen. The golden monarch had been kind to her – but a part of Kellyn always wondered if the mare would suddenly realize who she was, and change her mind. If she’d known that Yael already knew who she was, perhaps she might not have ever returned to the Tundra in the first place.
Never have been called by Carnage.
Never have seen space and time in a whole new way.
“My family will be fine.” she smiles at Zilpah, “And I have seen Rigdon, though not very recently. Perhaps he is away on business. The Tundra has had much upheaval recently.” She’d never spoken to Rigdon, because she rarely spoke to the Brothers, but surely it hasn’t been that long since she’d seen him around? She doesn’t want to worry her friend. The Deserts has its own set of dangers – but it isn’t the same ‘forever’ that plagues the Jungle. And it isn’t a Kingdom that the ghosts will disapprove of – she won’t have aunt Bethanie haunting her about becoming her mother, which she is sure would happen if she went to the Valley. And maybe – maybe it’s meant to be. For her to right some of the wrongs her mother perpetrated on the Deserts by serving there. The wrongs her mother supposedly perpetrated on the entirety of Beqanna.
A small part of her wishes she’d had time to ask Carnage about it. Surely he remembers.
“Both of your offers are intriguing.” Kellyn finally says quietly. “And someday I hope to see the Jungle – I am sure it is beautiful. But I feel like I have unfinished business from my first trip to the Deserts.” A lopsided smile here, towards Malka, sorry that she has wasted the woman’s time. “I guess I failed the first time I tried to live in the Deserts, but that feels like a lifetime ago. I’d like to try again.” She steps towards Zilpah, waiting for her once friend to lead the way.
daughter of cagney and elite