I can get there on my own. you can leave me here alone.
This is deeper than him.
But he is prepared to take responsibility.
He should have known and he should have gone and he never should have let any of this happen in the first place. But Sabbath is screaming at Adna about things that have nothing to do with him. This is not about his betrayal but he wants to shoulder the blame. Because he has never done anything good or kind or even halfway decent in his miserable life and he thinks maybe if he takes the blame they can form some kind of united front against him.
Because if there is anyone here worth hating, it is him.
But his head is pulsing with this new knowledge and there is a terrible tightness in his chest. And he wants to breathe but he can’t, so when he speaks the words come out breathless. The edges of his vision strobe as he looks at her, this viper who hisses in disdain when he says their – her – daughter’s name. A vise closes around his throat and he shakes his head.
“How do you know I wouldn’t have given her that?” he asks, his voice strained. “You never gave me a chance.” He feels no anger, though he wishes he could. Just the enormous gravity of some great sadness. Because she hadn’t given him the chance.
There is a stirring behind him then, Adna speaking. Apologizing. Turning to Gospel and insisting that they go. His brow furrows and he takes half a step toward them.
Gospel watches her mother and feels her hate for her father deepen. Endless. Because he has upset her mother again. Because he has betrayed her in some way. And she wants to stay and she wants to make him pay. She wants to plunge her teeth into his skin and inject him with a new, stronger venom. She wants to take him to his knees for hurting her mother. But it is evident in her mother’s voice that it is not up for negotiation.
So, she goes. She skirts past the pair of them and hisses at this strange, familiar woman, “kill him.”
And Bethlehem watches them go because he doesn’t know how to make them stay.
BETHLEHEM
I'm just tryin' to do what's right. oh, a man ain't a man unless he's fought the fight.
