[private] oh me oh my, i thought it was a dream... [lilli]

[Kagerus]

K

oh me oh my, i thought it was a dream...

My health returns in increments, it swells and swallows with the phases of the moon. The turbulence of the latest Beqannan change (something about the dead coming back to life -- my connections in the afterlife whisper about strange happenings... I wonder, often, why Warlight's voice no longer finds me in my sleep) passes me by with nary a nod in my direction. For one once so involved in the wellbeing of this land (did I not participate in every quest to heal Beqanna of her plague?), I find myself carefree, unaffected.

There exists one to whom I owe unending gratitude for my newfound peace: Lilliana. Much like Insignificance before her, the sweet mare saved me when I wavered on the cusp between life and death; she, in her angelic perfection, stayed by my delirious side as I faded in and out of consciousness for days. Why she stayed with me I cannot fathom; sometimes in life, it's impossible to deny the genuine kindness of absolute strangers. Beyond the literal life-saving she did, Lilliana also reminded me of the good in the world, of the hope that we each ought to cling to. She reminded me to be soft and open, when before I would have been cold and hard... Leadership changed me, and I'm only now reacquainting myself with the vulnerable little girl who lives, and always has lived, nestled in my breast.

Not to mention that she played a pivotal role in reuniting me with my wife. I smile to think of Solace, golden and blue and beautiful. My wife. To raise another young one with her leaves me whole and with a purpose once more: I love my grandson, Clegane, with everything I am. My failure with Abysm still stings, still motivates me to go above and beyond for the young ones in my life now... Nothing I do can heal the childhood trauma I instilled on my firstborn son, but my demeanour now can still shape the future generations. (Gods only know how Solace and I's comas hurt our youngest daughter, Oriash. I yearn to find her).

Today, however, I come in search of she who most recently saved me.

During my Caretakership, I never once entered this land. Taiga. The fog greets me before I can even find the border, thick and reminiscent of something that can be lost be never found. I toss my head, part the clouds; they swirl and amass into a tangible leopard-of-cloud, which comes to stalk by my side with a sassy flick of her tail. Why hello, cat, I muse to my creation, a smirk upon my lips. Panthera's voice answers in my head. Hello, horse. Not much else needs to be said between us, familiars as we are.

The border finds me. My obsidian hooves pause there and sink into the heady pine needles below; raising my head, I call for Lilliana.