04-20-2020, 12:38 AM
she wanted what every young heart wanted —
for something beautiful to find her beautiful.
for something beautiful to find her beautiful.
She hides things from him because she is afraid. She is afraid that he will see her family and maybe he wishes it had been him; that after Draco and Dove everything would have fallen into place, and Lilt herself never even existed. She is afraid that he will look at her siblings, that he might catch a glimpse of her mother, and he will realize that with Lilt he is only settling for second best. Because she cannot imagine that in comparison to her mother that she could ever be anything else. Lilt was beautiful, body and soul, but she was not her mother. She lacked the raw ferocity that could command nearly anyone’s attention, she was not everything dangerous wrapped in a pretty package. She was not Starsin. She was reserved and kind to a fault, and where Starsin liked to shatter things and laugh at the dust while it settled, Lilt only wished that she could put everything that she broke back together.
And she was afraid, more than anything, that he would eventually realize that quiet isn’t what he wanted. Maybe soft and patient was also boring and unappealing. Maybe she would be forever trying to outrun the shadow cast by her mother, and it would more sense to let go of this before there was no way out.
Until the shadows fall away from him and her silver eyes meet the topaz of his, and his smile makes her heart tremble in her chest. “I would know your shadows anywhere, I think,” she breathes with a laugh, trying to make light of the fact that she has already memorized nearly everything about him. That she knows his smell, his heartbeat, every flicker in his eyes. That she spends her nights trying to figure out a way to never have to miss him again.
His cheek pressing to hers makes her heart leap into her throat, and for a moment she lets her lids flutter closed over her eyes as she wills her pulse to steady. She rests like that for a few frantic heartbeats, before she tips her head to gently brush her lips against his jaw and admits softly, “I missed you.”
And she was afraid, more than anything, that he would eventually realize that quiet isn’t what he wanted. Maybe soft and patient was also boring and unappealing. Maybe she would be forever trying to outrun the shadow cast by her mother, and it would more sense to let go of this before there was no way out.
Until the shadows fall away from him and her silver eyes meet the topaz of his, and his smile makes her heart tremble in her chest. “I would know your shadows anywhere, I think,” she breathes with a laugh, trying to make light of the fact that she has already memorized nearly everything about him. That she knows his smell, his heartbeat, every flicker in his eyes. That she spends her nights trying to figure out a way to never have to miss him again.
His cheek pressing to hers makes her heart leap into her throat, and for a moment she lets her lids flutter closed over her eyes as she wills her pulse to steady. She rests like that for a few frantic heartbeats, before she tips her head to gently brush her lips against his jaw and admits softly, “I missed you.”
l i l t
