She doesn’t move again when he speaks, keeping her head turned around so she can watch him. It sounds so simple, coming from someone else, and her answer to his question comes without hesitation. “I would.” Of course she would! Whether or not she could forgive them was something else but Agetta knew she would be absolutely devastated if she were to learn they had died.
She had been the lone wanderer, a ghost haunting Beqanna, and never wanted to feel the desolation that comes with knowing everyone you love has moved on but you are trapped in life alone. Agetta had wished for roots, for a new beginning, and she never could have expected it would have turned out like this when she got her wish.
But this, it feels like it’s different. It is so hard for her to believe that her death would bring anything but a sense of closure and peace (perhaps after a brief time of pain).
“But it’s so much easier to forgive others than it is to forgive myself. That’s something I haven’t yet learned.” In all her years, Agetta wasn’t even sure she had ever tried to learn that simple thing. She was still carrying the weight of mistakes she had done when she was a few years old and now she was - well, she didn’t know for sure but several lifetimes have passed since then. It was just so easy to tell herself that she deserved every pain and none of the forgiveness. Easy to give in to the dark thoughts that haunted her dreams.
“Have you learned how to do that? To forgive yourself?” She asks quietly, as if this could be something she could be taught. Or maybe she is just looking for some hope.
@[sleaze]