10-30-2020, 07:09 PM
YADIGAR
there’s a hole in my chest but it’s mine, baby, it’s all i got.
What would he give to see her happy for once? He wonders this as his lips hover over her skin. She had died for him, after all. Offered herself belly up with her heart just aching to be called his. And she had never asked for a thing in return. Would he set himself on fire for her? Would he walk backwards over the ledge just to bring his old self back from the dead? He doesn’t know that it could be done, but he doesn’t know if he could face the storm again.
He is selfish and he can’t even find it in himself to be remorseful about it.
But he decides he will give her anything else.
She speaks and the words make him smile even if all is lost to them. In another life, they are both hawks who mate for life and wander infinite miles of forest together. They hunt side by side until a cold winter night takes them both in their sleep so not even a second is spent apart. If he could dream of anything, he would hope to dream of this.
“I thought of just flying away. I wanted to abandon everything,” he admits quietly against her neck. “But it would have meant abandoning you, and I’m too greedy not to see you again.”
That, he can feel. Greed. Lust. Sometimes, a flicker of anger even finds him. Everything else seems so far away but maybe he should be grateful that he knows he wants her attention to himself. Being curled against her like this takes the raw edge off his hunger for all of her, at least.
He is selfish and he can’t even find it in himself to be remorseful about it.
But he decides he will give her anything else.
She speaks and the words make him smile even if all is lost to them. In another life, they are both hawks who mate for life and wander infinite miles of forest together. They hunt side by side until a cold winter night takes them both in their sleep so not even a second is spent apart. If he could dream of anything, he would hope to dream of this.
“I thought of just flying away. I wanted to abandon everything,” he admits quietly against her neck. “But it would have meant abandoning you, and I’m too greedy not to see you again.”
That, he can feel. Greed. Lust. Sometimes, a flicker of anger even finds him. Everything else seems so far away but maybe he should be grateful that he knows he wants her attention to himself. Being curled against her like this takes the raw edge off his hunger for all of her, at least.