12-08-2020, 07:28 PM
What a frightening thought that a child could feel the emotions of adults. They are not meant to – they are meant to chase butterflies, to giggle with their friends, to play chase and tag. They shouldn’t feel the worry, the stress and the worry that we feel. But that is not my concern – as it isn’t something I am aware of. Instead, I notice that they are both very quiet – the silence spanning between us for an eternity. I shuffle absently, wondering if they are staring at my stunted wings that are pulled so closely to my body, that most others miss them. Or do they find me strange? Because I am a black Pegasus? Do they know? Are they aware that I was born of both white parents – both unicorns of all things – and I came out black as sin and with wings? That I never had friends growing up because I was a bad omen, but my mother couldn’t let me starve to death because that would certainly bring doom upon the herd? That I was only fed to prevent them all from dying, and the minute she thought she could wean me, I was kicked out of the herd?
Impossible. They couldn’t know that.
Moments passed and finally, Borderline spoke, breaking the torrent of worries that flooded my mind. My eyes snapped to her, and I smiled as warmly as I could. I dipped my head in response – hoping she understood that it was a pleasure to meet them both as well. There are several more moments of silence and then Borderline asks what brought me here. I almost felt blindsided by the question – and such a simple one at that. What did bring me here? I thought about it for a short time. I had no idea. I had been wandering since I had lost my Yuki and my twins; since I had lost everything that had ever given me a reason to live. I had been blindly following the stars, hoping to find a blizzard that I could lose myself in, imagining it was her embrace again.
”Life.” It was a fair approximation of what had brought me here. Different circumstances, different paths, different feelings on different days. I breathed a few breaths, hoping to steady my racing heart. It was the memories that got me. Too many, and not enough space to sort through them. I wanted to break down, to scream and rage, to throw myself at the ground, like a child who couldn’t get their way… but what would it help?
Instead, I inched closer to the two of them, my head low and curious. Was Memorie interested in a game of chase? I reached out gently and nudged her shoulder (assuming she didn’t move, of course), and bounced back a few steps, a bright grin on my face. Maybe we didn’t have to remember the sad things right now. Maybe we could just play and have friends and ignore the adult world. Was that even ok? I didn’t know, but I knew that if I didn’t change something in my life, things were going to get ugly.
@[Borderline]
Impossible. They couldn’t know that.
Moments passed and finally, Borderline spoke, breaking the torrent of worries that flooded my mind. My eyes snapped to her, and I smiled as warmly as I could. I dipped my head in response – hoping she understood that it was a pleasure to meet them both as well. There are several more moments of silence and then Borderline asks what brought me here. I almost felt blindsided by the question – and such a simple one at that. What did bring me here? I thought about it for a short time. I had no idea. I had been wandering since I had lost my Yuki and my twins; since I had lost everything that had ever given me a reason to live. I had been blindly following the stars, hoping to find a blizzard that I could lose myself in, imagining it was her embrace again.
”Life.” It was a fair approximation of what had brought me here. Different circumstances, different paths, different feelings on different days. I breathed a few breaths, hoping to steady my racing heart. It was the memories that got me. Too many, and not enough space to sort through them. I wanted to break down, to scream and rage, to throw myself at the ground, like a child who couldn’t get their way… but what would it help?
Instead, I inched closer to the two of them, my head low and curious. Was Memorie interested in a game of chase? I reached out gently and nudged her shoulder (assuming she didn’t move, of course), and bounced back a few steps, a bright grin on my face. Maybe we didn’t have to remember the sad things right now. Maybe we could just play and have friends and ignore the adult world. Was that even ok? I didn’t know, but I knew that if I didn’t change something in my life, things were going to get ugly.
@[Borderline]