04-03-2021, 06:14 PM
Beyza
Beyza waits for the tension in her to ease as she watches with her unblinking stare while Jamie greets each of the girls in turn. It doesn’t fade away but it doesn’t increase either. He joins her after greeting them and she remains still as a statue as an act of sheer will, or she'd be trembling just as he was.
On the question of names.
“Yes but…” She trails off, unsure of what thoughts she should give a voice to. Should she tell him that she does not know what to do, how to act around him, what this means that they share a family now? Should she tell him that the all-consuming desire for him, to make the world perfect for him, has faded in comparison to her desire to make it perfect for their children? That she would bring back the sun even if it brought him pain because it would bring joy to so many others.
He stands beside her and she cannot tell if she wants to close the gap between them further. To press against him until they blended together as they watch their daughters and pretend they are ordinary parents.
Beyza had thought creating lives together would cement their bond, tie him to her forever, but that feeling is absent in her.
Or… maybe not absent - merely eclipsed by the love she feels for her daughters.
Their daughters, she reminds herself. Because even though she feels she has more claim to them, they are forever his too. And so it is with that thought that she finally speaks, watching Jamie in her periphery but not turning to look at him directly when she asks quietly “Will you mind if I name them?”
On the question of names.
“Yes but…” She trails off, unsure of what thoughts she should give a voice to. Should she tell him that she does not know what to do, how to act around him, what this means that they share a family now? Should she tell him that the all-consuming desire for him, to make the world perfect for him, has faded in comparison to her desire to make it perfect for their children? That she would bring back the sun even if it brought him pain because it would bring joy to so many others.
He stands beside her and she cannot tell if she wants to close the gap between them further. To press against him until they blended together as they watch their daughters and pretend they are ordinary parents.
Beyza had thought creating lives together would cement their bond, tie him to her forever, but that feeling is absent in her.
Or… maybe not absent - merely eclipsed by the love she feels for her daughters.
Their daughters, she reminds herself. Because even though she feels she has more claim to them, they are forever his too. And so it is with that thought that she finally speaks, watching Jamie in her periphery but not turning to look at him directly when she asks quietly “Will you mind if I name them?”
@[jamie]