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  • Beqanna

    COTY

    Assailant -- Year 226

    QOTY

    "But the dream, the echo, slips from him as quickly as he had found it and as consciousness comes to him (a slap and not the gentle waves of oceanic tides), it dissolves entirely. His muscles relax as the cold claims him again, as the numbness sets in, and when his grey eyes open, there’s nothing but the faint after burn of a dream often trod and never remembered." --Brigade, written by Laura


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    Texas
    #10
    Winner: Texas

    Really enjoyed that both of your attacks were very realistic and seemed to have been pretty well thought out. You both took your attacks well and factored in injuries throughout your battle.

    I'd like to see a little more *why* behind the attacks (What are you looking to achieve by doing an attack? What will happen in the other horse moves?, etc.) I know this is a little more difficult with the limited word count, so I really didn't deduct anything for it - but just a thought.

    My big thing against Astri was that in Texas first post, he is on HER left side, therefore, his rear would've been at her left shoulder. Your following attacks has her favoring the right leg with her left leg being the stronger one.

    If either of you want it, I can write up a better critique tomorrow. Just a bit busy today and have a work meeting to get ready for later tonight.


    Messages In This Thread
    Texas - by Astri - 08-15-2015, 04:15 PM
    RE: Texas - by Texas - 08-17-2015, 08:45 AM
    RE: Texas - by Astri - 08-17-2015, 05:00 PM
    RE: Texas - by Texas - 08-18-2015, 08:41 AM
    RE: Texas - by Astri - 08-21-2015, 01:09 PM
    RE: Texas - by Astri - 08-22-2015, 07:54 PM
    RE: Texas - by kahzie - 08-25-2015, 04:12 PM
    RE: Texas - by Texas - 08-26-2015, 03:21 PM
    RE: Texas - by Astri - 08-27-2015, 05:04 PM
    RE: Texas - by Zariah - 09-01-2015, 02:53 PM



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