08-16-2015, 09:10 PM
Elowen
"She's lost inside..."
She was drifting through life on a small string; like a kite within a small breeze. Her pace was slow and steady, her hooves barely dragging across the grass, yet she continued on her way. It had always been like this, the young mare moving slowly between each place in a constant pace. Elowen had never cared of where she was at or who was around her in the moment, yet it had never been her fault. She was incapable of what her emotions decided to take on. The coldness. The distant eyes. The thoughts that swarmed her mind. That had all come when she was fully capable of thinking for herself. Her mind had never shown signs of that utter excitement or rage. It was on a constant scale of numbness. She had given up knowing what was bound to happen. Her inability to feel was what made her walk away from her past herd. They had hated that factor. The stallions within her herd had hated the way she disclosed herself from the world, never allowing them into her head. She was like a secret under lock and key, never allowing someone else to hold the key into her mind.
They knew what they were getting into when they allowed me into their herd. Her thoughts were spinning as she walked, gently kicking the grass and looking down at the ground in an emotionless gaze. Even the hoof marks on her back that appeared to be painful were numb to her. They had tried to make her feel. They had tried to push her to fight back, yet she was quiet and subtle. She had only walked away, not being edged on to fight. Not being edged on to feel. She was distant from everyone, yet in some ways, she silently wanted something. She wanted someone to make her feel, to make her smile, yet it was impossible with her disorder.
I shouldn't have stayed when I did. I should have left sooner. She had stayed within her birth herd for three years until she was pushed off. She hated how close they were, how touchy-feely they were. She had hated when the stallions had tried to court her, how much they persisted. It ended in the scars upon her back, in the memories flashing through her mind. Which was why she left. Yet here she was, subtly walking through a field with the intentions of a home. Who would dare to ask me into their herd, though? I'm useless. Her thoughts were what got her through life, though. They always stayed, pushing her to the limit. Sometimes they broke her, yet others they saved her.
Because I am comfortably numb...
ooc: I apologize for how bad the post is. I wasn't sure how to start it. c:
They knew what they were getting into when they allowed me into their herd. Her thoughts were spinning as she walked, gently kicking the grass and looking down at the ground in an emotionless gaze. Even the hoof marks on her back that appeared to be painful were numb to her. They had tried to make her feel. They had tried to push her to fight back, yet she was quiet and subtle. She had only walked away, not being edged on to fight. Not being edged on to feel. She was distant from everyone, yet in some ways, she silently wanted something. She wanted someone to make her feel, to make her smile, yet it was impossible with her disorder.
I shouldn't have stayed when I did. I should have left sooner. She had stayed within her birth herd for three years until she was pushed off. She hated how close they were, how touchy-feely they were. She had hated when the stallions had tried to court her, how much they persisted. It ended in the scars upon her back, in the memories flashing through her mind. Which was why she left. Yet here she was, subtly walking through a field with the intentions of a home. Who would dare to ask me into their herd, though? I'm useless. Her thoughts were what got her through life, though. They always stayed, pushing her to the limit. Sometimes they broke her, yet others they saved her.
Because I am comfortably numb...
ooc: I apologize for how bad the post is. I wasn't sure how to start it. c:
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