Captain's Log, Stardate 47457.1;
I can hear what you're thinking, you're thinking, "How is this guy the captain?" But have you seen me? I'm beautiful, of course I'm the captain. You think they're gonna make the captain some dull little bay? Come on, those guys are made for the red shirts 'cuz ain't nobody gon' remember them. Everybody remembers me. And not just cuz I'm in 85% of all the scenes.
Anyway, as I was saying, Captain's Log; we were returning from some uber boring diplomatic mission with some really weird blue people - and let me tell you, they were weird. Like honestly, they had those little skin loops in front of their mouths? Just be glad you didn't have to watch them eat like I did. Gross. But we did it because it's our job and we are professionals. So we were leaving, right? And out of freaking nowhere the whole damn planet explodes! Just... BOOSH! And gone. Coolest goddamn thing I seen in my whole life, but it really messed up my ride. Our shields ain't bad but you know, a whole planet goes up right behind you and the next thing you know half the crew's done dead and you're crash landing on what you can only hope is gonna be an M-Class planet. And of course it is because, you think the writer's are gonna kill off this gorgeous face?
Nah bro, not in the first fucking season, thank you.. But damn you thought I looked good all clean-cut, didn't you, and look at me now, disheveled, bloodied, rugged, climbing out to the wreckage of my ship like a fucking hero.
A medical officer stumbles up to me, breathing hard. He looks sad but I dunno why. Buncha redshirts bit it, but nobody out of the main crew, so I'm not worried. I turn to my first officer, also in attractive disarray.
"What do we know about this planet?"
I can hear what you're thinking, you're thinking, "How is this guy the captain?" But have you seen me? I'm beautiful, of course I'm the captain. You think they're gonna make the captain some dull little bay? Come on, those guys are made for the red shirts 'cuz ain't nobody gon' remember them. Everybody remembers me. And not just cuz I'm in 85% of all the scenes.
Anyway, as I was saying, Captain's Log; we were returning from some uber boring diplomatic mission with some really weird blue people - and let me tell you, they were weird. Like honestly, they had those little skin loops in front of their mouths? Just be glad you didn't have to watch them eat like I did. Gross. But we did it because it's our job and we are professionals. So we were leaving, right? And out of freaking nowhere the whole damn planet explodes! Just... BOOSH! And gone. Coolest goddamn thing I seen in my whole life, but it really messed up my ride. Our shields ain't bad but you know, a whole planet goes up right behind you and the next thing you know half the crew's done dead and you're crash landing on what you can only hope is gonna be an M-Class planet. And of course it is because, you think the writer's are gonna kill off this gorgeous face?
Nah bro, not in the first fucking season, thank you.. But damn you thought I looked good all clean-cut, didn't you, and look at me now, disheveled, bloodied, rugged, climbing out to the wreckage of my ship like a fucking hero.
A medical officer stumbles up to me, breathing hard. He looks sad but I dunno why. Buncha redshirts bit it, but nobody out of the main crew, so I'm not worried. I turn to my first officer, also in attractive disarray.
"What do we know about this planet?"
@[Star]