[private] lonely in the cold nights, maze

[Selaphiel]

selaphiel

these days i don’t pray when i close my eyes

He sees a glimpse of his friend in this: maybe she should have just let me die. It turns his stomach still, but it is not as cruel as it could have been. Not when he had been expecting her to say something like, maybe she never should have given birth to you or maybe she should have succumbed to the darkness herself. But no, she takes the violence on herself again, just as she always has. And perhaps she doesn’t do it on purpose, but she sacrifices herself for them even in the hypothetical. 

This is all he needs to reinforce his belief that she is in there somewhere still, fighting whatever wicked thing has sunk its teeth into her. He does not retreat any further, instead setting his jaw and shackling her with a pointed, glacial stare. 

Neither of them backs down, though he had not expected that she would. Because she is still this dark thing that he only hardly recognizes (although he does not recognize her at all now, as she stands before him as some great-clawed thing). 

He searches the face and tilts his head, just barely, in question. “And what are your motives now?” he asks, still holding his ground. He will fight for her, he decides, even if she is unwilling to fight for herself. He had promised her that he would never leave her. He owes her his life twice over and if that means laying down his own life, then so be it. 

He draws in a ragged breath, his heart beating loud in his ears. 

I just bite my tongue a bit harder

@Mazikeen