there's fire in your blood
 | When the yellow dragon had turned into a navy stallion, when she had torn his throat without incident and discovered the leeching blood of death, Mazikeen had felt a disappointment so deep it plunged her deeper into the rage that had been driving her. The trees and grasses nearby had been lit on fire as her fury poured out of her and she took to the skies, wanting something else to tear into that was not vegetation.
Eventually, she wakes and she finds herself in a snow leopard den with the scattered remains of the mother and teenage cub around her. In that blood-soaked cave, Mazikeen finally remembers the trips across the mountains with Gale as they sought a challenge for her, remembers fighting with the armoured beast and then how she had slid into a version of herself that she has no control over. How she had focused on Gale and he had not resisted as she tore into his flesh with murderous intent.
Though she can no longer feel sadness, the version of grief that had haunted her after Islandres descends on her again and her claws leave gouges in the stone walls as she rages with it - almost slipping back into that white-noise blindness and only just managing to cling to consciousness. If there was to be another death between them, it wasn’t supposed to be like that.
Mazikeen may have been feeling restless but she knew she hadn’t wanted him gone. Regret is an uncomfortable feeling for her now - a shallow emotion where it had once grown deep roots. It lingers on the surface of her mind but things she might have expected once - like worry and hope - do not exist at all. She does not fret over whether Gale will return but she does wish for it. She knows she would like to see him in whatever state he chooses to appear to her. Understanding, furious, indifferent, vengeful - it won’t matter, so long as she sees him again and can press her skin into his in as close to an apology as she is capable of now.
He must come back. If she needs to find a way to go into Death to bring him back to her, she will. It may not be exactly love in what remains of her heart but she knows what exists there only exists for him. She'd bring this world to an end to be with him and it would be an easy price to pay.
She does not hide in the mountains to wait, going instead to the lake as dusk settles on Hyaline. She doesn’t know if this is the next day or if many have passed. There are no other signs of any carnage caused in her blind fury, just the blood soaking her skin.
She moves into the water until it is at her shoulder, standing there without holding any of her abilities. She is just a horned mare, the fire-glow of her horns reflecting on the dark water around her as she realizes it is only the blood of the leopards soaking her - none of it is her own. The wounds she sees in her hazy flame-fury memories are gone, as well as a few of her older scars.
Gale must’ve done that, she doesn’t know when but it had to have been him. A few of the glowing markings down her back appear, making her all the more visible in the water, as her mind instinctively reaches for sadness and finds only anger. At him for not being here right this very moment but mostly at herself, because though she does not feel true guilt (it had not been her, after all) she still knows this is her own fault.
m a z i k e e n . |
@ Gale
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