and let me crawl inside your veins. I'll build a wall, give you a ball and chain.
She didn’t come to the forest often anymore, mostly because she did not go anywhere at all anymore.
She did not grow restless to the cage of boredom as she once had, did not feel her skin itch with the need to shatter something into dust. She listened to the thoughts and dramas of those around her and while she might inwardly roll her eyes at their petty grievances or think about how she would have meddled into their situation one upon a time, she does not actually do or say anything. She does not listen to gossip of the kingdoms or even pay attention to who is leading what, because she knows their names will be forgotten as soon as the next best thing comes along.
She does not care for any of it, because truth be told, she is happy.
She does not linger so close to Ophanim out of obligation or some invisible shackle. She did not feel burdened by the children she gladly births for him, or like she had somehow become domesticated by family and a more lax lifestyle.
It was a relief to not be wound so tight all the time, to finally be rid of that relentless need to remind everyone of where they belonged—below her. Her days consisted only of keeping an eye on the children that chose to still hang close to their family, and her nights were spent curled beneath the same warm wing as all the nights before.
When she steals away to the forest it is not because she needs respite from her family, but simply a change in scenery.
And maybe to shatter a tree or two, for old times’ sake.
“Lie,” she calls him by his nickname, still unable to bring herself to address him as anything else, even though they feel more like strangers than they have ever been. It is not lost on her that this is the first time the two of them have been alone in several years, and the tension that brews beneath her dappled skin is nearly electric. There had been a time when she had nearly risked it all for him—both of them continuously caught in a riptide of their own making, and not seeming to care who drowned along with them.
She would never risk losing Ophanim now, and she is already afraid of how this meeting could be misconstrued.
She wants to snap at him, for no reason other than she is annoyed at being in this situation, but she thinks of Lilt and stays her own tongue. “I’m fine,” she answers him in a tone that is slightly clipped, her dark blue eyes meeting his coolly, seemingly indifferent.
But she is still undeniably everything that she has always been, and her smile suddenly turns sharp as her head tilts in that calculating way of hers. “Are you lost? I don’t think Lilt is in the forest.”
starsin
it’s not like me to be so mean. you’re all I wanted.
( just let me hold you Like a hostage. )
