01-30-2022, 11:41 PM
Ryatah
WHEN I WAS SHIPWRECKED I THOUGHT OF YOU
IN THE CRACKS OF LIGHT I DREAMED OF YOU
“I don’t know if you could have found me,” she whispers, her voice raw with regret and with the tears that she blinks away, because she hates admitting that out loud, and knows too that he will hate to hear it. But there was a darkness, she learned, that was not meant for anyone to find it; a darkness so far removed from all the dimensions that she knew she was meant to have remained lost there for an eternity. “I don’t even know where I was. It wasn’t the afterlife, and it wasn’t like being dead before. It was dark, and it was nothing, and yet somehow full of everything.” It’s only by her own brand of luck—if it could even be called that—that for whatever reason Carnage had thought to look for her. That the one being in existence that could scan all the dimensions and galaxies in a single heartbeat had for some indiscernible reason sought her out and pulled her from the dark.
But he is his own kind of devil, and that is why she shakes her head vehemently at what Atrox says. “No,” the word sounds sharp in her desperation, in her need for him to understand. “I would never want you to make a deal with anyone. Not for me. Not after what happened with—” she catches herself just before she says Magnus’s name, swallows it down, but the melancholic apology is clear on her face as she finishes quietly, “Firion found me, eventually.”
She does not say that Carnage found her first.
She does not clarify that Firion had found her somewhere else other than the black void.
She will tell him everything eventually, because he is not someone that she has ever kept secrets from. She will tell him, from beginning to end, all that had transpired — from Gale to Carnage and everything in between — but for now all she can think about is how solid and real he feels, how his skin is so much warmer than she had remembered, his voice so much sweeter.
She presses into him, her pale cheek against his neck, and she almost forgets everything else. Almost, until she closes her eyes and the darkness that rushes to greet her is overwhelming and suffocating, and all at once she is again suspended in a place with no light and no sound. Her eyes fly open and her heart beats hard and fast in her chest, and it’s all she can do to quell the panic that is building there. “I kept thinking you were there,” she confesses, quiet and tense, suddenly all too aware of how astray her mind had led her over and over. “I kept hearing your voice or thinking I saw you, and you disappeared every time.”
But he is his own kind of devil, and that is why she shakes her head vehemently at what Atrox says. “No,” the word sounds sharp in her desperation, in her need for him to understand. “I would never want you to make a deal with anyone. Not for me. Not after what happened with—” she catches herself just before she says Magnus’s name, swallows it down, but the melancholic apology is clear on her face as she finishes quietly, “Firion found me, eventually.”
She does not say that Carnage found her first.
She does not clarify that Firion had found her somewhere else other than the black void.
She will tell him everything eventually, because he is not someone that she has ever kept secrets from. She will tell him, from beginning to end, all that had transpired — from Gale to Carnage and everything in between — but for now all she can think about is how solid and real he feels, how his skin is so much warmer than she had remembered, his voice so much sweeter.
She presses into him, her pale cheek against his neck, and she almost forgets everything else. Almost, until she closes her eyes and the darkness that rushes to greet her is overwhelming and suffocating, and all at once she is again suspended in a place with no light and no sound. Her eyes fly open and her heart beats hard and fast in her chest, and it’s all she can do to quell the panic that is building there. “I kept thinking you were there,” she confesses, quiet and tense, suddenly all too aware of how astray her mind had led her over and over. “I kept hearing your voice or thinking I saw you, and you disappeared every time.”
AND IT WAS REAL ENOUGH TO GET ME THROUGH —
BUT I SWEAR YOU WERE THERE