you've been up and down, down, you've been low, low, low; sahm and newton

[Strangelet]

You've been up and down, down, you've been low, low, low.

The longer we’re apart, the more I miss...just everyone. My Noctem the most, of course, because he’s always been the closest to me. Being away from him, being completely unable to reach him, it feels like I’m missing limbs. And half my heart. Oh, but the rest too though. My mother, my sisters, my brothers...even the ones who have been gone for ages, for years, for decades.

It has almost helped some, meeting new people. But at the same time, it just highlights how very not-mine everyone is. God, but I wonder...I wonder if even they would feel mine anymore, now that I can’t feel them the same way, can’t read them or sense them or hear them in my head.

Maybe even my family would feel like strangers.

Well. One little thought, and I’m curled up on the ground, propped up against the trunk of a sturdy tree, and just collapsing into a well of sadness so deep it’s nearly drowning me. From one breath to the next, that was all it took. Everything has changed, my senses have changed so drastically, and I just...I just lean against the tree and close my eyes, fighting tears that are so desperate to fall I can feel them clawing at the insides of my eyelids.

Noctem?

But I can feel it hitting the edges of my mind and just echoing around inside, nothing but a thought. Completely contained, not reaching out and searching, connecting, touching familiar souls and minds and flooding me with warmth and love. Nothing but the empty echo of a dead end thought. With a sigh, I give into gravity and let my head droop, my shoulders slump, my ears flop dejectedly to the side. It’s not dark yet, but it’ll only be...a few hours ‘til nightfall. Maybe I’ll just stay here ‘til morning. I have nothing better to do, after all.

Troubled sea so deep, troubled home, no sleep.

photo by Dagwanoenyent-Stock
@[Sahm]

[Sahm+Newton]

forever in their lovers embrace

The forest provided much more of a refuge for the two stallions. The trees acted as some sort of barrier against noise. Newton was beginning to find himself in need of silence. Sahm was doing everything in his power to care for Newton, and it was evident to him that his lover was on the verge of another mental break down. With complete support Sahm allowed Newton to lean his body into him as they sought solace amongst the trees. The duo had met other horses in the forest. It wasn’t exactly a lonely land. All of the Beqanna horses had been displaced, so many had to find some type of place to make a temporary home. The meadow was the place for what seemed to be the majority, but the forest still proved to be a sanctuary for others. Sahm and Newton hadn’t been the only two horses that wished to be in peace. For once they were deep in the forest they noticed a mare standing alone

She intrigued Sahm. He wasn’t sure what was the driving force of intrigue, but he was curious to find out. Newton had regained some of his strength on their walk through the trees. The fresh, green scent rejuvenated his tissues and he was able to find pace in his own stride. Sahm and Newton approached the mare slowly, and both smiled upon getting closer. ”Hello. I hope we are not interrupting. “ Sahm said.

”I am Newton and this is my mate, Sahm.” Newton spoke with an upbeat tone. ”What brought you to wonder deep into the forest?” Newton asked.

[Strangelet]

You've been up and down, down, you've been low, low, low.

((Sorry this took me forever. -_-))

I’ve curled in on myself, propped up against the tree trunk and just closing my eyes and breathing, trying not to drown in the feeling of being so utterly alone for the first time in my life. It’s so quiet here in the forest, which would normally be an absolute wonder. No stray thoughts echoing around in my head, no flickers of light and color and the brilliant glow of bonds between people distracting me and lighting up inside my head like bursts of sunlight. But without all that, the quiet is so much more lonely instead of peaceful.

So when I hear approaching footsteps, it’s relief that washes over me instead of dread. I open my eyes to see two smiling faces, and their friendly looks evoke a smile of my own to flicker at the corners of my lips. “Not at all. Not much to interrupt, really. It’s nice to meet you.” And it is, too. Something about the way they stand, the gravity between them, the love written in every line of their posture, it reminds me of my brother Drow and his Zurry. There’s this lovely feeling of home hanging in the air between them, and it washes over me and eases the ache in my chest a little.

“I’m Strange. And...well, I don’t know. It was a bit of an aimless wander, really.” I sigh a little, a quiet puff of air heavy with frustration. “I used to know where I was going. A tugging in my chest, pulling me where I needed to be. Now?” I shrug, looking around, feeling totally lost. “Now every direction’s the same, and none of them lead anywhere. Especially not home. What about you two? What brings you to this neck of the woods?”

Troubled sea so deep, troubled home, no sleep.

photo by Dagwanoenyent-Stock
@[Sahm]