09-17-2016, 12:02 AM
It has not been easy, to be alone like this. Barely a yearling, still all awkward limbs and too-big feet, wrapping myself up in borrowed wings to fend off the cold. Winter’s finally come to a close, giving way to the early days of spring, but I still can’t shake the cold from deep in my bones where my fire used to dwell. And I miss having someone to curl up with, to chase away the chill with their body heat. Even blanketed in great big feathered wings, all red-tipped black and cozy, I still shiver in the dark, curled up in a little cave or nestled against the trunk of a tree.
No, alone hasn’t been easy. But much as I might like to, I can’t go home. I can’t cross the border into Taiga; Beqanna herself won’t allow it, and no matter how much scorn I may have for her as a deity, she is certainly that. The god who rules this land, whose will is stronger than I will ever be, and whose word is deeper than any law. So I wander, cold and alone most of the time, though I’ve managed to make a few friends along the way. A few warm bodies who enjoy a good cuddle.
Today the thought makes me miss two in particular, twins who are especially cuddly and warm and delightful, whose presence always manages to cheer me up. Spear and Spark, who quickly became my best friends the moment we met, wrapping themselves around me and touching their noses to my skin and making me feel like I belonged for the first time since the world changed so violently.
It just might be, as I wander the forest where they found me the first time, that I am hoping deeeeep down in my heart that I stumble across them again. Unfortunately, stumbling is a strong suit of mine, though not usually the kind I meant. And this time’s no different. One of my big feet gets caught on a rock, and I tumble to the ground, my shoulder colliding with the earth with a dull thud and an “oof.”
Ow.
Well. I mean. The ground’s nice too. Even if it’s a little squishy and wet from all the melting snow. And wet makes everything colder. If I get up, the wind will make me chillyyyy. But just laying here would be pretty dumb, because it’s not like the wet’s going away any time soon. With a great big sigh over the absence of my fire friend, who could solve this problem very easily thanks, I heave myself to my feet and continue trudging through the squicky spring ground. At least there are nice tasty green things growing again. That’s a plus. Finding things to fill my belly has gotten easier the last few days or so.
In fact, winter was kind of rough on me in that respect. I’m a little bit too bony, not just awkward-gangly. A few too many ribs showing, or they would be if it weren’t for the shaggy state of my coat that hasn’t started to shed yet. My hips are a little too sharp and pointy, not as good as they could be for cuddles if I’d eaten more over the course of the winter. But I guess that’s one of the downsides of wandering and not having a good feel for the territory I call home. Food can be kind of hard to find when you’re looking in new places every day.
I bet Daddy’s doing okay though. And all his other kids, and his pretty lady. I hope so at least!
I wasn’t wrong, by the way. It’s extra cold now that I’m wet too. But still, there’s nothing to do for it but try to find a nice sunny spot to soak up some light and heat and let the springtime sun dry my coat a little bit while the wind is pretty quiet. So I find a nice open space to do just exactly that, and turn so the sun’s hitting the wet side of me and the breeze is mostly not. And then I just stand there, quietly grazing on the new bits of green and trying to make myself a little bit less scrawny. I guess maybe alone’s okay too for today...
No, alone hasn’t been easy. But much as I might like to, I can’t go home. I can’t cross the border into Taiga; Beqanna herself won’t allow it, and no matter how much scorn I may have for her as a deity, she is certainly that. The god who rules this land, whose will is stronger than I will ever be, and whose word is deeper than any law. So I wander, cold and alone most of the time, though I’ve managed to make a few friends along the way. A few warm bodies who enjoy a good cuddle.
Today the thought makes me miss two in particular, twins who are especially cuddly and warm and delightful, whose presence always manages to cheer me up. Spear and Spark, who quickly became my best friends the moment we met, wrapping themselves around me and touching their noses to my skin and making me feel like I belonged for the first time since the world changed so violently.
It just might be, as I wander the forest where they found me the first time, that I am hoping deeeeep down in my heart that I stumble across them again. Unfortunately, stumbling is a strong suit of mine, though not usually the kind I meant. And this time’s no different. One of my big feet gets caught on a rock, and I tumble to the ground, my shoulder colliding with the earth with a dull thud and an “oof.”
Ow.
Well. I mean. The ground’s nice too. Even if it’s a little squishy and wet from all the melting snow. And wet makes everything colder. If I get up, the wind will make me chillyyyy. But just laying here would be pretty dumb, because it’s not like the wet’s going away any time soon. With a great big sigh over the absence of my fire friend, who could solve this problem very easily thanks, I heave myself to my feet and continue trudging through the squicky spring ground. At least there are nice tasty green things growing again. That’s a plus. Finding things to fill my belly has gotten easier the last few days or so.
In fact, winter was kind of rough on me in that respect. I’m a little bit too bony, not just awkward-gangly. A few too many ribs showing, or they would be if it weren’t for the shaggy state of my coat that hasn’t started to shed yet. My hips are a little too sharp and pointy, not as good as they could be for cuddles if I’d eaten more over the course of the winter. But I guess that’s one of the downsides of wandering and not having a good feel for the territory I call home. Food can be kind of hard to find when you’re looking in new places every day.
I bet Daddy’s doing okay though. And all his other kids, and his pretty lady. I hope so at least!
I wasn’t wrong, by the way. It’s extra cold now that I’m wet too. But still, there’s nothing to do for it but try to find a nice sunny spot to soak up some light and heat and let the springtime sun dry my coat a little bit while the wind is pretty quiet. So I find a nice open space to do just exactly that, and turn so the sun’s hitting the wet side of me and the breeze is mostly not. And then I just stand there, quietly grazing on the new bits of green and trying to make myself a little bit less scrawny. I guess maybe alone’s okay too for today...