this is all of me for all the world to see; leliana

[magnus]

“I knew her,” he confirmed, his voice sad and twisted. “Just a little. Our paths crossed.” It had always been the worst timing for them. She had arrived as he was leaving the Gates, when he was broken and angry. She had arrived just as the kingdom had erupted, as Ellyse had been exiled. Magnus had followed.

Their encounter had been brief but he had treasured it. He had seen the softness in her eyes, the goodness in her. Had he stayed in the Gates, he was certain that he would have become friends with her. But he hadn’t stayed—and when the Reckoning happened, he cursed himself for it. He should have been there to protect her and the rest of them. He should have swallowed his own pain and endured it all—for them.

And then, then, he hadn’t been fast enough to find her after the Reckoning. He had done his best to gather together what was left of the Gates residents, to find them a home in Tephra, but he hadn’t found her. Not fast enough. Not before the boy had latched onto her. When he had finally found them, it was too late.

She wanted nothing to do with him anymore.

“She was a wonderful woman,” was all he said. “I wish I had know her more.” Because why burden the child with things left unsaid? The maybes of life? The things he wish he had done or the ways he wished he had protected her? At her next question though, his face grew puzzled. “This is Tephra.” Did Cerva want her daughter here? The thought of it grew painfully in his chest as he began to lead her away.

***

It was hard for Magnus to focus on just one thing.

Leliana, for all intents and purposes his ward, stood there, clearly shaken, clearly breaking apart, the tears visible in her gentle eyes. Atrani, an innocent child, was pressed to his chest, her voice steady but her loss clear. And then, Dovev, the man clearly responsible for it all, breaking apart in front of him.

Rage warred with sorrow and melded with the need to protect. He reached down, the ink of his muzzle touching the child’s shoulder reassuringly—letting her know that he was there still—before he glanced back up, focused on Dovev. Fury still exploded within him, but it calmed at the sight of his distress. Good. Clearly whatever mess this was belonged to him. At least he had the good sense to look distraught.

As he called for his daughter, Magnus glanced down to the girl.

“What would you like to do?” His voice was quiet, meant only for Atrani but likely heard. “I can guide you to him,” a pause, “if you want.” Because suddenly, he wasn’t so sure that is what she wanted at all. If she did, he would take her to the man—despite his internal loathing, his mistrust.  But if she didn’t…

It was clear in the protective stance, the hardening of muscles beneath his golden coat, what he would do if she didn’t want to go. He remained steady, his head dropped to her shoulder, ready for her instructions.

out of the blue out into the loneliest place that you'll ever know
I carried the world just as far as I could but the damage had taken its toll

sorry for the time jump! x_x