11-19-2019, 03:53 AM
You’re uncontrollable
and we are unlovable
and we are unlovable
There are a number of things that would make Leilan pause - a lot of things do, these days. He’s an odd sort of horse - one who doesn’t exactly refer to himself as a horse, yet neither does he dare call himself a dragon. He’s an in-between something, as he’d told a certain fairy, and he would rather move forward than backward.
Yet he can’t help dwelling in the past, musing over what he could have done better in his life, and what he could possibly fix, still. Obviously as long as he couldn actually find any of his children, he couldn’t fix anything at all - often enough he decided to stop looking, telling himself that they were probably very capable of handling themselves, and finding a better life than what he ever could have offered them. Briseis, Roseen and Jenova had seemed to be good mothers, anyway.
Funny how much that sounded like Roseen’s refusal to let him be a dad to their child. And how much it looked to him that Thalassa must have decided the same thing.
But that past is long since gone, and there is no going back. Heck, would he even want to go back to the idiot he was back then? He thinks he prefers the idiot he is right now, though he can’t be certain of course.
The mare who calls him out, probably for trespassing again - he can’t keep still, and like he’d told the young man in Loess, when he’s preoccupied and brooding, he doesn’t really care which way he’s going - and he blinks at her as he focuses his ice-coloured eyes on the dotted mare. She almost purrs; reminds him of large cats as she approaches, a predator in one so many ways. Starsin - her name does ring a bell, for he heard it not long ago. Funny how it is true then, what her husband said, about her being pretty and pretty clever. Though Leilan also recognizes the predatory look in her eyes that he doubts the tobiano ever sees, he can’t help noticing that her dots look pretty cute. They remind him of his ex-wife’s dots, a thought he pushes back hard and fast as he smiles back at the mare. No room for her right now.
Looking for someone? He huffs, wondering if he looked that way, but he doesn’t think so. She’s probably just being polite. ”No, no-one in particular.” Of course, he tries to keep an eye out for his family, but he hasn’t seen them in so long that he starts to doubt if he will ever find them - perhaps they moved out of Beqanna. ”I’m just on my way north. But if you’re desperate for a friendly chat, I suppose I could hang around a little longer.” He grins a little. Not too long, though - Beryl will need to have him back home before the evening darkness turns the Isle too cold, though with a quick glance to the sky he estimates he still has a couple hours. Spring is easier in that regard, he thinks.
Yet he can’t help dwelling in the past, musing over what he could have done better in his life, and what he could possibly fix, still. Obviously as long as he couldn actually find any of his children, he couldn’t fix anything at all - often enough he decided to stop looking, telling himself that they were probably very capable of handling themselves, and finding a better life than what he ever could have offered them. Briseis, Roseen and Jenova had seemed to be good mothers, anyway.
Funny how much that sounded like Roseen’s refusal to let him be a dad to their child. And how much it looked to him that Thalassa must have decided the same thing.
But that past is long since gone, and there is no going back. Heck, would he even want to go back to the idiot he was back then? He thinks he prefers the idiot he is right now, though he can’t be certain of course.
The mare who calls him out, probably for trespassing again - he can’t keep still, and like he’d told the young man in Loess, when he’s preoccupied and brooding, he doesn’t really care which way he’s going - and he blinks at her as he focuses his ice-coloured eyes on the dotted mare. She almost purrs; reminds him of large cats as she approaches, a predator in one so many ways. Starsin - her name does ring a bell, for he heard it not long ago. Funny how it is true then, what her husband said, about her being pretty and pretty clever. Though Leilan also recognizes the predatory look in her eyes that he doubts the tobiano ever sees, he can’t help noticing that her dots look pretty cute. They remind him of his ex-wife’s dots, a thought he pushes back hard and fast as he smiles back at the mare. No room for her right now.
Looking for someone? He huffs, wondering if he looked that way, but he doesn’t think so. She’s probably just being polite. ”No, no-one in particular.” Of course, he tries to keep an eye out for his family, but he hasn’t seen them in so long that he starts to doubt if he will ever find them - perhaps they moved out of Beqanna. ”I’m just on my way north. But if you’re desperate for a friendly chat, I suppose I could hang around a little longer.” He grins a little. Not too long, though - Beryl will need to have him back home before the evening darkness turns the Isle too cold, though with a quick glance to the sky he estimates he still has a couple hours. Spring is easier in that regard, he thinks.
and I don’t want you to think that I care
I never would, I never could again
Leilan
no. 7 | ice forged in fire
@[Starsin]
Two things I know I can make: pretty kids, and people mad.
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