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  • Beqanna

    version 22: awakening

    COTY

    GHAUL -- Year 209

    QOTY

    "(souls are not meant to live more than once — death was not meant to be temporary, and she is so sure that every time her heart starts to beat again that irreversible damage is further inflicted)" -- Anonya, written by Colby


    I never could, again; Starsin
    #1
    You’re uncontrollable
    and we are unlovable
    Well, isn’t his life fucked up. His meeting with the golden tobiano had probably only made him realize this more; while the younger man had talked about his family with a gleam on his face, Leilan had only regrets when he thought back on his time with them. Sure, when he’d still been with Breckin during her rule, things had finally been what they should at the time - or, almost. Certainly his relationship with Chryseis, Ophie and Thorgal hadn’t been what it should be. Certainly he hadn’t been the best father to them, and then he lost them to their mothers, and that was about it.

    Ophanim’s question about having a pretty sister came to mind, the silver bay roan colt with his bi-coloured mane clear in his past-vision as the memory passes into Chryseis’ shocked and angered yearling-face. Leilan always felt bad for not seeing him again after that, and for not being able to introduce him to his siblings by Breckin.

    All of it was a big mess, and he’d only run away from it all.

    He travels from his Loessian escapade to the direct north, passing through the nearly empty woods in deep thought. He remembers Modicum Mortem’s reign and Jesper being stolen, and his own careful inquiries with Arthas if he could visit Loess’ great big ally at the time. Of course he’d only wanted to visit to support his friend if he could, but Arthas certainly would not need to know.

    It’s funny how Leilan’s loyalty for rulers had declined so rapidly, even if Brennen had deserved it - only to come back to his family once more. Starsin, my very beautiful wife, was asked to be advisor here. She’s very clever so it’s the perfect job for her. Just the tone and happiness made him feel bad about his own wife. She was very beautiful and very clever, too.

    Too bad he hadn’t been the only one to see it. Too bad she had decided to willingly go with that kelpie instead. Too bad she hadn’t hesitated a moment, and too bad he’d seen it.

    It was all too bad. He wonders what their children would think.

    and I don’t want you to think that I care
    I never would, I never
    could again
    Leilan
    no. 7 | ice forged in fire


    Starsin here is a crap starter but I put family thoughts in it for her to feast on
    Two things I know I can make: pretty kids, and people mad.
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    Reply
    #2

    and let me crawl inside your veins. I'll build a wall, give you a ball and chain.

    She hears him, and instead of approaching immediately,  she simply watches.

    It is not often that Starsin is quiet, and it is not often that she hangs back instead of eagerly slinking forward to see what the world was offering her. She was an odd sort of predator, one that did not have a steadfast way of hunting. Sometimes she was content to lay and wait and see what happened to stumble across her path, where other times she had to go looking for her prey.

    Today it was the first option, it seemed, with the draconic stallion winding his way through her autumn forest. She almost let him continue without interfering, because a quick flip through his thoughts easily labeled him as ‘harmless’, and she was pregnant and tired and also arguably a terrible hostess to begin with. But then there is a familiar name – Ophanim. Her Ophanim. And if there is anything that can make Starsin stop in her tracks and cause her fierce blue eyes to zero in on a target, it is Ophanim’s name in another’s mind. It is irrational how quickly it causes jealousy to flare in her veins, especially when it was so clear that Ophanim was entirely hers and she was entirely his.

    But she's never been very rational.

    Somewhere beneath her rushing pulse she hears the stallion recall part of his conversation with her husband, and beyond her heightened suspicion she is flattered at being referred to as beautiful and clever. Ophie forgot to add psychotic bitch, but it was sweet of him to not say such things to strangers.

    Finally, she emerges from the shadows that she had been poorly hidden in. Those constellation dapples that glowed as bright as stars in the night sky were useless when it came to camouflage, but it never worried her. “It’s not often that I get visitors in Sylva,” comes the sweet purr of her voice, a saccharine smile curling across her lips. “I’m Starsin. Were you looking for someone?” Her head tips to angle her gaze upwards at him, and the look could almost be innocent if her eyes were not so sharply watching him.

    starsin

    it’s not like me to be so mean. you’re all I wanted.
    ( just let me hold you Like a hostage. )



    Leilan
    Reply
    #3
    You’re uncontrollable
    and we are unlovable
    There are a number of things that would make Leilan pause - a lot of things do, these days. He’s an odd sort of horse - one who doesn’t exactly refer to himself as a horse, yet neither does he dare call himself a dragon. He’s an in-between something, as he’d told a certain fairy, and he would rather move forward than backward.

    Yet he can’t help dwelling in the past, musing over what he could have done better in his life, and what he could possibly fix, still. Obviously as long as he couldn actually find any of his children, he couldn’t fix anything at all - often enough he decided to stop looking, telling himself that they were probably very capable of handling themselves, and finding a better life than what he ever could have offered them. Briseis, Roseen and Jenova had seemed to be good mothers, anyway.

    Funny how much that sounded like Roseen’s refusal to let him be a dad to their child. And how much it looked to him that Thalassa must have decided the same thing.

    But that past is long since gone, and there is no going back. Heck, would he even want to go back to the idiot he was back then? He thinks he prefers the idiot he is right now, though he can’t be certain of course.

    The mare who calls him out, probably for trespassing again - he can’t keep still, and like he’d told the young man in Loess, when he’s preoccupied and brooding, he doesn’t really care which way he’s going - and he blinks at her as he focuses his ice-coloured eyes on the dotted mare. She almost purrs; reminds him of large cats as she approaches, a predator in one so many ways. Starsin - her name does ring a bell, for he heard it not long ago. Funny how it is true then, what her husband said, about her being pretty and pretty clever. Though Leilan also recognizes the predatory look in her eyes that he doubts the tobiano ever sees, he can’t help noticing that her dots look pretty cute. They remind him of his ex-wife’s dots, a thought he pushes back hard and fast as he smiles back at the mare. No room for her right now.

    Looking for someone? He huffs, wondering if he looked that way, but he doesn’t think so. She’s probably just being polite. ”No, no-one in particular.” Of course, he tries to keep an eye out for his family, but he hasn’t seen them in so long that he starts to doubt if he will ever find them - perhaps they moved out of Beqanna. ”I’m just on my way north. But if you’re desperate for a friendly chat, I suppose I could hang around a little longer.” He grins a little. Not too long, though - Beryl will need to have him back home before the evening darkness turns the Isle too cold, though with a quick glance to the sky he estimates he still has a couple hours. Spring is easier in that regard, he thinks.

    and I don’t want you to think that I care
    I never would, I never
    could again
    Leilan
    no. 7 | ice forged in fire


    Starsin
    Two things I know I can make: pretty kids, and people mad.
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    Reply
    #4

    and let me crawl inside your veins. I'll build a wall, give you a ball and chain.

    He seems almost oblivious to the true tone that hides beneath her cloying words, and that causes her already piercing blue eyes to narrow considerably. She does not think he is actually that unintelligent, but she also does not think he is entirely innocent. Very few came through Sylva unless they had a reason. “You sure? So it’s just a coincidence that you spoke with Ophanim and now, suddenly, you’re in his home?” The question is punctuated with another tilt of her head and an arch of her brow.

    It was not exactly a secret that Starsin was not the greatest at making and keeping friends, and only a few minutes of conversation usually revealed why. Her distrust for everyone was plain in the way her charade was carefully played out, from the sedate smile to the saccharine sweet way she spoke; everything about her was an act, and she didn’t much to hide it. She wanted it to be clear that strangers were not seeing her – they were seeing what she has chosen to display.

    “I’m not really desperate for anything, to be honest,” she responds flippantly, her eyes flicking past him before returning to his face. “But you seem to know Ophanim, so, you’ve captured my interest.” And then a return of that cheshire cat smile as she steps forward, and another purr of her voice when she adds, “Lucky you.” She lets some of the iciness fade away, then, her muscles relaxing beneath the glowing dapples of her skin, but the coolness to her gaze does not warm as she eyes the draconic stallion before her.

    starsin

    it’s not like me to be so mean. you’re all I wanted.
    ( just let me hold you Like a hostage. )



    Leilan
    Reply
    #5
    You’re uncontrollable
    and we are unlovable
    There is little in the world that would shock him, could shock him; not anymore at least. But the world always has little surprises waiting for everyone. Nasty little things hiding behind the corner, booing at him. Usually he doesn’t bother.

    Starsin narrows her eyes at him and he subconsciously places her in the box of many horses that will never trust him - the usual box. That’s what, combined with what she says, makes him stare at her hard, suspicious of her in his disbelief - and then shakes his head. His demeanour flips as easily as a leaf in an autumn storm. ”Ophanim,” he tells her, slowly and with venom the dripping from a suddenly ice-clad voice, ”is silver bay roan with gold and blue mane.” Ophie had practically been the cuter version of himself; well, with his mother’s wings. As with all his foals, he’d thought he’d be a better version than his sire. The boy had of course been a wanderer like both his parents, yet Leilan alway wondered what in their two meetings had him stay away forever.

    Did she pick the name from his mind, had she that ability, was she a magician? Maybe she met someone from his past who held a grudge, who’d told her? What’s next, telling him she’d spoken to Thal or Rose? Had she looked further though, she would have known he wouldn’t take kindly to such jokes. It doesn’t add up for her to play with him like this since they don’t know one another, but then again, it doesn’t matter how she came by the information or why she does it - she changes from hot to cold easily enough within sentences of their conversation. Leilan’s not into it. She’s on very slippery ice, and it will take just one slip for him to snap. The joking trickster quickly replaced with the ice dragon he was already becoming, he’s only barely standing still when she nears, muscles tensed, teeth bared in a threat - he will fight her if she keeps this up. ”Don’t you dare use his name against me. Save your games for someone else.” It was bad enough that he lost sight of his children without some manipulative stranger putting it against him when he only passed through.

    and I don’t want you to think that I care
    I never would, I never
    could again
    Leilan
    no. 7 | ice forged in fire


    Starsin the bot rolled you first and also his niceness got lost somewhere on the way? idk
    ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
    Two things I know I can make: pretty kids, and people mad.
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