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  • Beqanna

    COTY

    Assailant -- Year 226

    QOTY

    "But the dream, the echo, slips from him as quickly as he had found it and as consciousness comes to him (a slap and not the gentle waves of oceanic tides), it dissolves entirely. His muscles relax as the cold claims him again, as the numbness sets in, and when his grey eyes open, there’s nothing but the faint after burn of a dream often trod and never remembered." --Brigade, written by Laura


    Please Be Kind To Yourself
    #1
    I know this time of the year is difficult for many people, in many different ways depending on where you live and what your current situation is; but, regardless of how difficult things are right now, please don't be mean to yourself. Please do not hurt yourself or punish yourself, you do not deserve to suffer because of your flaws and/or mistakes, or for any other reason really. Be patient with yourself, be nice to yourself, you are worth more than you think. 

    When you make a mistake please do not think you are bad, or that you are stupid, or that you are worthless, you are none of those things. You are a human, we make mistakes. You are a living creature who is deserving and worthy of kindness and affection. You are a sentient being with thoughts and feelings, and you need to give yourself time to process them and handle them in a more rational way, do not feel ashamed. Give yourself kindness, not criticism. 

    When you feel like there is no hope and everything feels pointless, don't cloud your mind by dwelling on such thoughts. I know it is difficult, when everything feels wrong and pointless it's hard to think you will ever feel happy again; however, remember that everything is temporary, even bad situations. It can be tempting to make it all stop, to think that if you don't exist everything will be better, but this is not true. The world would not be better without you, you are deserving of every second of your life, no matter what anyone else says to you. Your story doesn't have to end early just because you're unsure of how it's going, you will figure it out eventually, even if it feels like you can't right now. Give yourself time, it is unrealistic to expect everything in life to be instant.

    There are people and things out there to help you, it can be scary to ask for help, it can feel stressful to look for help, it can feel like you'll never find help, but you will, and it's worth it. Take your own pace, seek the help that makes you comfortable, the purpose of asking for help is to get you feeling better, not to stress you out more. If one method isn't working for you and is making you uncomfortable, try something else! Think about things that you like, things that would make you feel better, seek what makes you happy.

    Play some games, watch some videos, make some art, cuddle some dolls, take a nap in your favourite spot with your favourite blankets, watch your favourite show, listen to some music, scream into a pillow, write, take a warm bath, do whatever helps you calm down, just please do not hurt yourself or punish yourself and make yourself feel worse, I promise you don't deserve to feel pain, you don't need to suffer. 

    Don't tell yourself you're not worthy of feeling good and treating yourself just because you "haven't done as much as someone else" or "don't have as many problems as other people". Not everyone's 100% is the same. You may feel like others have more on their plate and that you don't have enough on yours to justify being nicer to yourself, but please remember that not everyone's plate is the same size. Maybe your plate is smaller than someone else's, maybe it's bigger, it doesn't matter what size your plate is, when you feel like it's full, it's full, and no one can tell you otherwise. Your 100% might be someone else's 40%, that doesn't mean you didn't try your best, it just means that your limit is different than someone else's, and that's okay. People are meant to be different, that's how real life works.

    Please be nice to yourself, be kind. You are worthy of love and affection, you are worthy of gentleness and kindness, you are worthy of life, and no one is allowed to tell you otherwise. And it is okay to cry, it is normal to cry, let yourself cry as much as you need to, but please drink some water when you can afterwards, or you will get a headache and feel worse. Dehydration can worsen your mood more than you think.

    And even if no one else has said it to you today, I will say it to you:

    I love you. <3 You're doing great.
    Reply
    #2
    I love you too, Ciel. I think it’s safe to say we do, even Smile
    Thank you for writing all of this!

    Reply




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