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  • Beqanna

    version 22: awakening

    COTY

    LILLIANA -- Year 206

    QOTY

    "There is still something of himself - something of the Wolfbane who would always love her - that rallies against the slime. It says, 'lie in the bed you’ve made'. So he gathers the covers and tucks himself in." -- Wolfbane, written by Calcifer


    [private]  choking on truths i couldn't swallow / party
    #1
    draco
    hitch a ride on my violence

    All of Beqanna is invited to crowd onto one okay island.

    Draco laughs to himself, imagining what it would be like to cram every dumbass in this land onto the sand of some holiday-ed beach. What is it that they’re celebrating again? A summer solstice? The demon cannot bring himself to muster up an ounce of care.

    But—

    He supposes a party has its delights.

    At his core, Draco is a creature of chaos, and the idea of picking through so many minds thrums excitedly in his chest. He grins secretly to himself and with a loud whip of his tail he spins in the direction he last left his sister.

    Dove is a sweet, obedient girl. Draco loves her, in his own way—his heart twisting as he remembers how he ACTUALLY cares for her and any serious game he plays with her weighs on his soul. It is these moments that he curses his mind reading, how it offers him the darkest parts of those he loves the most.

    Still, even in his moments of regret, he will not have it any other way. The inky shadow of his father’s magic made him ugly on the inside. Dove is his because of this power. They grew up entwined; therefore, her endless vines of thoughts became just as much Draco’s as they were hers. He truly thinks that, sometimes: that his sister’s thoughts are no separate than his own. 

    Beautiful, dainty, and sad, his little bird—is he lying to himself when he thinks he wishes she were a bit more confident for her own sake?

    “Darling Dove, are you ready to go?” Draco calls, finding her navy eyes peering up at him. The demon had suggested they take their time travelling from Pangea to Ischia, so they had hunkered down beneath some wide leaves in Tephra the night before.

    A bright pink flower dangles from a branch just above his sister’s head, and he cannot help but to imagine what it would look like woven into her mane. So, he promptly does that, then presses an affectionate kiss to her cheek.

    “Perfect for an island party, yes? Let’s go.”

    Draco is quiet for most of the short walk there, a sort of vulnerability he does not offer to anyone else. He occasionally bumps his shoulder into Dove’s, especially when they are forced to cross the channel. The flower in his sister’s hair bobs in the water but he is sure to keep it from being whisked away.

    They finally reach the sandy bottom, Draco celebrating by splashing Dove as he bucks onto the shore. He does a sort of prancing circle, feeling rather mischievous and excited.

    “Do you think we’ll regret coming all the way out here just for this?” he whispers even as he knows any hell he may raise will be one hundred percent worth it.


    DRACO


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    #2
    love is really nothing
    but a dream that keeps waking me –
    When Draco suggests that they go to Ischia, she has to hide her secret delight. It seemed like it wasn’t very often that he wanted to spend time with her, and she did her best to not show how much that stung. He always came back to her, eventually, and like the foolish girl she was she simply waited. She knows if it weren’t for the fact that they were twins that he likely would never waste his time on her. She was too meek and shy, and likely far too boring. She had seen him with their half-brother – the one with horns that twisted where his eyes should have been – and the angelic dragon girl, as well as the girl covered in stars and stardust. It doesn’t surprise her that they are the kind to catch his interest.

    It’s not jealousy that blossoms in her chest; just a wistful sort of melancholy.

    She does not mind that they take their time getting to Ischia, because there was a greedy part of her that liked when she had Draco to herself, and she was afraid someone else would distract him. Sleeping curled into his side was one of the few times her heart seemed to settle inside of her chest, and all the other unease and worry melted away. There was no one else that knew her the way her twin did, and subconsciously she knew no one else would be able to breach the walls she had erected around herself even if they wanted to.

    They arrive in Ischia, and she carefully shakes the water from her skin, mindful of the flower woven into her mane. Jewel, the small and vibrant hummingbird that had shadowed her almost every move since she was born, kept trying to drink from the flower’s center, and Dove couldn’t help but to laugh. Pangea was a terrible place for a hummingbird, and Dove always felt guilty, but Ischia was positively paradise for the small bird. She watches as the bird happily flits away, and her dark blue eyes turn back to her brother.

    He seemed almost happy, which was a rare but also dangerous thing. Even his happiness was cloaked in darkness, but Dove couldn’t bring herself to feel afraid. “I never regret going anywhere with you,” she says as she draws her star-dappled body flush with his, ignoring the way her pulse quickens for a moment, and immediately swallowing the guilt that followed it. She tips her head towards him, the warm sun glinting off the snowflakes that laced her pale colored nose, before looking back to the bright and tropical paradise. “Do you think Ischia is prettier than Pangea?” She thinks it is, but she also knows Draco felt a certain loyalty to Pangea because of their father, and as always, she was hesitant to disagree with him.
    Dove

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    #3
    draco
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    “Oh, don’t be corny,” Draco snaps back, something like irritation flashing red and angry in his eyes. He thinks that he means it, but a nasty warmth blossoms in his chest—one he wishes he didn’t feel. The anger is hot and he considers allowing it to burn, but regret is swift when he sees the look in Dove’s eyes; he concedes with—

    “I didn’t mean that. You’re the only one I can stand to be around for more than an hour.”

    That he means for sure, the certainty hot and embarrassing. The demon shuffles and casts those mischievous red eyes over the surrounding party, a poor attempt at hiding his discomfort. He does eventually turn back with a smile to Dove. The chatter and endless stream of thoughts makes it hard for him to focus, but he does zero in on her when he connects with her thoughts.

    “It’s definitely prettier. Dad used to say Pangea has its own unique aesthetic, but he’s always been full of shit.” A wry smile curls his lips as his heart twists. He misses that bull shit.

    Draco takes a moment to comb through the thoughts of passerby, and when he reads them take notice of the pair, he tucks himself closer to Dove’s side. Without a word, he guides her down the beach to a quieter corner.

    Water washes over the demon’s hooves when he kicks into the sand. He twists his neck around to peer at Dove with a soft smile, gaze briefly flitting to the tropical flower in her mane. After taking a few steps back to draw level with her, he nibbles at the skin where here jaw ends and her neck begins. Such shows of affection are rare, but when he is the spirit he gives them and gives them well.

    “I wanted to mess with the party but . . .” he sighs, then presses his cheek to hers. “What do you want to do?”


    DRACO


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    #4
    love is really nothing
    but a dream that keeps waking me –
    He snaps at her, and even though she is used to it by now it does nothing to soothe the sting. She retracts from him with a visible hurt flaring in her navy blue eyes, and for a moment they darken to a near-black as tears fill them. The ache that builds in her throat feels like a noose, but she refuses to actually let any tears fall. With a trembling sigh she swallows the knot away, and when he apologizes she just smiles and gives an easy roll of her shoulders. “It’s okay,” she says quietly, hoping her voice sounded stronger to him than it did to her – that it didn’t sound like he had every ability to build her up and tear her back down, that she wanted nothing more than his approval.

    She doesn’t verbally disagree with him when he talks about their father, but she does cast him a skeptical glance. Draco loved their father – she knew he didn’t actually think he was full of shit, and that he was just wounded at the fact that he had disappeared and that no one, not even Draco, knew where he was. But Dove had learned very quickly to not bring Lie up; she stopped making suggestions, she stopped wondering out loud about where he could be. All it did was irritate Draco, and she couldn’t risk making him so annoyed that he avoided her altogether. “I miss him,” is all she finally says, and this time her eyes divert away from her brother’s to avoid what might be a scornful gaze, looking instead at the turquoise water.

    They walk side by side, her skin occasionally brushing against his. It was an accident each time, but that didn’t stop the strange heat that flashed across her body; the kind that made her afraid to look at him, as though that would somehow keep him from reading her mind. She knew the thoughts that she had about him sometimes were wrong – all of it was wrong. She wondered sometimes if it was what she really wanted or if she just too starved for affection, and combined with how badly she wanted to be accepted by him, it was a recipe for disaster.

    But then he touches her on purpose, and she knows that even though the feelings are twisted and wrong, they are still incredibly real.

    She leans into his touch when he presses his cheek to hers, and she tries to ignore the way her heart is fluttering inside of her chest. Tentatively, she tilts her head to brush her lips against his neck, still avoiding direct eye contact as she suggests timidly, “There’s supposed to be a waterfall here.” Her nose drifts over the tangles of his mane, letting her lips linger over the strands before continuing with a whisper of hope in her voice, “Maybe we could find it?”
    Dove

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    #5
    draco
    hitch a ride on my violence

    Dove is heartbreakingly beautiful when she wears hope on her face. The worried lines of her face soften and so does Draco’s resolve. Whatever hope he has left for stirring up trouble boils away beneath the scorch of the demon’s embarrassed cheeks. He does not always say yes, but when he does, it uses all of his saved up self-restraint.

    “Let’s go, then,” he demands, though the touch he presses between her ears is affectionate and gentle.

    Draco sets a hurried pace through the jungle trees of Ischia. He doesn’t say much as they search, content to allow this joy to dangle painfully between them; and, if he says too much, something like “I’m happy you’re happy” might fall out and . . . Draco might be forced to feel a complex emotion beyond fury and depression.

    “I think I hear it,” is what comes out instead, rather dryly.

    The crash of the water grows louder as Draco rushes closer. Exhilaration steals the air from his lungs when they come upon the ledge—because he has never seen beauty like this, but mostly because he feels his own pleasure over how his twin must be feeling now. He places a piercing gaze upon, locking his thoughts onto hers.

    Rarely does Draco wish another had his ability to read others like books, but now he does. He wishes Dove could understand his searching gaze, that she could just pluck the answer out of him like he can do to her. This discomfort bubbles angrily in his stomach, but he does eventually turn away.

    “Why’d you wanna come here, anyway?”



    Dove

    DRACO


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    #6
    love is really nothing
    but a dream that keeps waking me –
    She feels her heart swell when he agrees, but she does her best to mask it, afraid that if she was too forward in showing her excitement that he would change his mind. She doesn’t say anything, but instead just smiles a small smile, her eyes again closing when his lips touch the top of her head. When she opens her eyes he has already stepped off, and she moves to travel alongside of him.

    His pace is fast, which she had expected. He had agreed to go, but that didn’t necessarily mean he was happy about it. She knew he was thinking that the faster they got to their destination, the faster they could leave it, and under normal circumstances that would have stung. It felt like he wanted to get rid of her, and maybe he did. But Dove had already decided that she wasn’t going to let his negativity get to her, and besides that, she was almost certain that Draco was internalizing his emotions about their father leaving.

    She was hoping that, maybe, he would be distracted from that, at least for a little bit.

    The sound of the waterfall in the distance makes her heart jump with anticipation, but there is also a wrinkle of doubt; afraid that it won’t have been worth it, afraid that she will have made them walk all this way for nothing. But when they come upon the ledge, she feels as though the breath is stolen from her lungs. She doesn’t look at him, yet, her gaze held captive by the water that rushes over tiers of rock and into a turquoise pool below, flanked by the bright, emerald green of the island’s foliage.

    She can feel Draco looking at her, though, and when he speaks she finally turns to look back at him, and for once her usually meek gaze is unwavering. “Because I wanted to see something beautiful with you.”
    Dove


    @[Draco]
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    #7
    draco
    hitch a ride on my violence

    The little compassionate bit of Draco that keeps his heart beating rushes to confuse and belittle him. When he looks at Dove, he knows one thing—and one thing only—to be certain: she is the only thing he has ever had. Not even Starsin, or Litotes, or their many half-siblings can be considered wholly his. Here, in front of all the most beautiful things Beqanna can offer, Draco is starkly aware of how little belongs anywhere except beside his twin.

    It is gut wrenching, or even sickening; but he cannot think straight and most days he does not know right from wrong.

    “I like it when you speak your mind,” Draco responds simply, nodding his head in a foreign display of sincerity. He feels alien offering a compliment that is not to further one of his interests—something in his gut tells him he must nurture what they have or he will be left with nothing.

    And as much as Draco would like to think he is fine on his own, the vicious creature he is will never let him forget how afraid he is of being left behind. The fear sits in the back of his mind and comes to him in dreams in the form of his disapproving father. Dove’s kind—if most of the time dim—glow keeps him warm and grounded even when he is gone for days.

    The waterfall crashes below them, the sound as loud as the disarrayed whooshing in Draco’s ears. He drags his eyes from Dove’s to peer out over the tumbling water and fluttering tropical birds.

    “I love you, you know that?” he says just barely loud enough to be heard over the water.


    DRACO


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    #8
    dove
    LOVE COULD BE LABELED POISON AND WE'D DRINK IT ANYWAYS.
    As far as she is concerned, she has only ever had him.

    She knew his heartbeat as well as she knew her own, and when the perfect illusion they had been born into was shattered, it felt like he was the only one she could trust. Dove loved their parents, and she didn’t blame them for anything, and she knew that their parents loved them too – even if it seemed like their mother picked her perfect family over them, and even if their father was gone. But her trust in them was shaken, until her foundation started to crack and crumble, and all she was left with was him as the rock to build it back up on.

    Even though she looks back at the water, her attention is entirely on him; hyper-aware of every shift of weight, every inhale and exhale of his ribs. It feels like static between them, like if she were to reach out and touch him there would be a shock, and maybe not necessarily in a good way. She wishes sometimes that she could read his mind the way that he reads hers, just to give her the vaguest idea of how to act, how to pacify that anger that burned so bright inside of him.

    She would have maybe missed what he said if she wasn’t paying so close attention to him, but those quiet words, almost drowned out by the crashing of the waterfall, echo in her mind.

    He doesn’t mean it like that – she knows. He loves her because she is his sister, because they are twins, because they are family. There is nothing else to it, and not even she is delusional enough to create something out of nothing, to search for something that is not there.

    She looks at him, with those melancholy navy blue eyes that reflect the stars on his face. “I love you too, Draco.” Because he is her brother, she reminds herself, and that is the only kind of love she should have for him.

    With a few steps she is closer to him, and without asking she curls against his side. Her skin flushes hot with the anticipation of him jerking away, and she steels her mind in preparation of his rejection even though she rests her head against his chest and whispers almost pleadingly, “Don’t pull away. Please.”
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    #9
    draco
    hitch a ride on my violence

    Draco’s chest aches for every loss the twins have suffered together. He knows Dove’s pain almost more than he knows his own, having submerged himself in her thoughts from the moment they were born. Perhaps that is why when she whispers for him to stay close, he has a hard time separating his own desires from his sister’s. The swelling, suffocating feeling in his chest makes his head spin and his eyes water.

    “We can stay here as long as you want.”

    The words spill like so many waterfalls from his mouth, but Draco is barely away that he says them. His neck arches cleanly over Dove’s and he buries his mouth in the tangles of her mane. Where Draco’s lips brush her warm skin he leaves little kisses.

    Draco closes his eyes (and his entire being) from the surrounding world and melts into his sister’s embrace.



    very short very sweet closer <3

    DRACO


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