She could watch the thoughts pan across his face with startling ease. All the years they had known each other, and his expressions were nearly as familiar to her as her own. That there was something warm in his eyes when they rested on the tawny cub now sleeping off his meal surprised her though. Perhaps it was thoughts of his own child. Adarra, hadn't he named?
A twist of guilt clenched her gut. They had their own children now, and not by each other. When they had talked of love before, it had been an abstract thing to the seamare. Something intangible, that she had been so certain she would know as it touched her. Something she had perhaps unfairly tried to push on the stallion now taking in the scene.
Her mouth quirked wryly at his admission, the sentence doing little to mollify the ache that had been building in her chest since he had landed. "Don't tell me you've gotten so insecure that a baby can make you jealous." She tutted lightly, almost smiling. Then it faded again, replaced by a more serious look that softened only when she glanced back to Halcyon. He'd been dangling on the hook long enough. "Really, there's no point in envy, Pteron. He's mine because I found him; on the beach as a newborn. The best of the gifts the sea has given me." A smile did find her then, soft as spring rain.
Still, the envy that had colored his voice dogged at her. Had it not been for Hal, she very well may have taken on a new lover, and what then? What would be have to say if the child were not some founding, but the result of someone choosing her above all others. Would she miss the winged boy? Would the scent of him still draw at the most basic of her instincts, and make her weak at knees and heart? She may never know. It wasn't the world they were living in.
He's put her in danger. That itself should have been enough for her to cast him out. Who was to say that Hal was not also now in danger, that her entire home was not now at risk because of one stallion's inability to stay away. That should have been the first of her thoughts. Oh, but he is standing so near, and for all that she had been so busy with her impromptu motherhood, there was a piece of her that missed the touch of one who wanted nothing but to touch her.
She sighed at his kiss, the feathery light trace that had been her undoing before. Love had made a fool of her before, this would not be the first time. Against the voice that she knew deep down was sense, she pushed and yearned and gave way. "Stay," a whisper, a supplication. A line of concern creased her brow, then. Not all reason was lost, after all. "But only for a few days." The words pushed past her lips as though they'd been spoken by a stranger, someone with better control than the lovelorn mermaid.
The warmth of his skin, of his breath on hers, it faded as she stepped back. The space they both truly needed opened between them. "I will not be the reason a territory is left leaderless. Or a child fatherless. I will not carry that weight for you. Face your dragon, you'll all be happier if you do. But don't just pretend none of it exists." When had all their conversations become so difficult? Once they had been utterly carefree, two scraps of life set loose on the world. She missed those days dearly, and yet found that she would not return to them. Not now.
There was another piece that hung from her, the weight of which had colored every meeting since its awareness. The wine-dark eyed nereid searched his face, looking for some sign or signal that would lay truth bare. Something that would mean she didn't have ask after all. She wished that her gifts included a way to pluck the words from his mind unspoken. A silly wish, for a silly girl. She was not his first choice. Nor even his second, if he was married already. All that remained was the question. Why me? A hard swallow, but she kept the heady green of his eyes as long he would let her. Why not the one you love? Instead, she smiled wanly, and nodded back up the path. "Come on then. He'll nap a while. Let's talk of happier things." She was an excellent pretender.
@[Pteron]