All of the voices inside of my mind will never be silencedIt’s easy to lose time underwater. Easy to lose all sense of those things that seemed so important on the surface. And when she had overcome the fear that brought her back time and again, it had been too easy to forget why she would even choose to return. Down here, in the heavy depths of the sea, silence reigns. Not just the silence of water muting and distorting sound so effortlessly, but the silence in her own mind.
And that is perhaps the most beautiful thing of all.
Here the voices do not reach her. They do not disturb her every waking thought, nor do they stir her from the soundest of sleeps. She does not need to constantly work to press them out, to wish so fervently her mind might one day be her own. No, here beneath the waves, her world is beautifully, blessedly silent.
But she has discovered just how lonely such isolation is. They had not been made for life without companionship, after all. And it is that loneliness that drives her to the surface. The soul-deep ache is perhaps the only thing that could make her forget, for a moment at least, how the voices clamour.
So she moves from the depths of salt and coral to the murky flow of the great river. Though the endless barrage of thoughts are not so muffled here, they are quieter. Manageable. And now, in the low light of the dawn, the sun only just beginning to fall over the land, there is a hush fallen over the surface. Though she knows it would not last, for a moment she can almost pretend.
When finally her pearlescent hooves sink into the muddy banks, she pulls herself above the water. A great exhale expels the water from her lungs, and her next breath stings with the clarity of the air. Once the transition would have sent her into great, hacking coughs. But time and practice had taught her how to better avoid that particular discomfort.
With a soft sigh, she looks above her, gaze taking the blanket of stars above as they slowly fade beneath the growing light. The soft murmur in her mind is, in the hush of the early morning, gentle, almost comforting. It wouldn’t last, of course. But for now, she would accept the boons as they came.
until I can find a way to let go of what we left behind