and let me crawl inside your veins. I'll build a wall, give you a ball and chain.
There is a part of her that found this exhilarating. The vitriol that they spit so easily at each other, bitter and simmering, as if they had not once been lovers. As if he did not know every side of her, as if he did not know that her fortress of anger was sheltering every broken part of her. She could pretend she doesn’t know what he’s thinking without actually reading his mind, she could pretend that he actually is as irritated as he appears to be.
Until he softens. Until the turmoil of emotions that had reflected in his eyes slowly dissipated into nothing, and she has to remind herself that she cannot fill them back up.
She fades, but only slightly. Her stance is still rigid, her dark blue eyes unrelenting as they still stare directly into his. Lilt’s confused, upset thoughts are the only thing that draw her gaze away from Lie, and the glimmering silver of her daughter’s eyes – rimmed with the tears that she is fighting to hold back – is what finally extinguishes the last of her anger.
The sigh that she emits is a heavy one, and her chest does not feel lighter having released it. When she looks back to him there is the faintest remnants of her own hurt and confusion, but with a single blink her expression is wiped clean, and she says in a clipped tone, “I don’t care if you stay, if Lilt still wants you to.” She holds his gaze captive with her own for a heartbeat and a breath too long, before she turns to go. She could leave it at that – she should leave it at that. But that bruised and injured part of her, the broken part that wanted to drag everyone into the deep dark with her, makes her glance over her shoulder to add icily, “Just stay out of my sight.” She leaves them there, then, letting the fog of the Sylvan forest swallow her up once more.
starsin
it’s not like me to be so mean. you’re all I wanted.
( just let me hold you Like a hostage. )
