[private] the crushing weight of paradise

[Kagerus]

Kagerus

{ and in my dreams I've kissed your lips a thousand times }

Thrash.

He's still Svedka.

Yowl.

He's still Svedka.

Lunge.

He's still Svedka.

Resist.

He's still --

It's no use. When again the lion disobeys, goes to harm the lives of my wife and children, I double down on the restraints. If the lion cries out in pain I pretend not to notice, tears streaking down my face as the moral part of me recognizes how I am hurting someone I love so, so dearly. How could I? Yet a singular glance to Solace offers every explanation, the justification writ with the clarity of a starlit lake the reasons why.

The dreamscape, Kagerus, she whispers. I can taste the agony in the hum of her aching voice. "Maybe we can free him there.

"No," I growl through gritted teeth, not taking my eyes off of the lion for a second. "Not us, Solace. The dreamscape with a feral predator is no place for you or our children. If we go, it will be alone, and you will stay here phased awaiting our awakening." It kills me to be so harsh with the woman I pride myself on always be equals with but the intensity of the situation rids my mind of any compromise.

Even still...

Even still, I break.

My tear-strewn face, screwed up just a moment ago in fury, turns to Solace with the aching disorder of grief and confusion. "We don't have another choice, Sol," I choke. "And -- and once he's a horse again, the only thing I can think of to make his proximity to you safe is ankle restraints." I hold her gaze despite how greatly I wish to look away, ashamed to be saying out loud what I know she wishes to remain unspoken forever. "Metallic ones, so that he cannot shift without risking great harm to his lion self."

A yowl reminds me of the lion's current imprisonment.

"And Sol," I shudder. "I don't think this lion will be ready to sleep any time soon... Maybe you should try talking to him again." I think of the cerulean flash of eyes I'd seen as she'd kissed his forehead not three minutes ago. "Maybe you are the key to his freedom today, not me."

@[Svedka]