It gets easier to explore, once he has done it already. Gets easier to move past the Tephra border—although his heart still pounds in his chest with both fear and excitement every time that he does. It just requires him to move past the edge of his terror, the place where his mind grips onto itself so tightly that he sometimes forgets to breathe, and dive into the parts of his mind soaked in wonder. The parts that thirst so much for what the world has to offer, even if it is only from behind the glass of his separation.
The distance closes each and every day though. Closes as he makes his way around Beqanna, avoiding others as best he can. He has seen the borders of most kingdoms—even looked into the distance to see the looming shape of the Isle—and visited the forest. Each one is so different, he thinks, and he cherishes his time in them all. Whether it’s admiring the flowers in the meadow or standing in awe of the redwoods.
It baffles him that someone could walk through and not be struck dumb with joy.
But it is the consequences of having such a poet’s heart, as his father has told him. You get to experience such delicate beauty, but also the searing pain of its loss. Not everyone mourns the withering of spring.
He holds the words close today as he moves into the playground, allowing himself to watch each and every change of terrain. It is daylight and Astrum is not there to keep him company. He still looks up though, almost expecting the small ball of star fire to be there. To be dancing above his head or in front of him like his own personal north star. He wishes desperately that she was, that it was night—or, at least he does, until he sees her. The way that the sunlight sets her afire. The glow is different than his own, different than his father’s, but it is familiar and it sets him somewhat at ease.
Enough that he does not immediately retreat.
Instead he wanders closer, his eyes serious and mouth somber. Showing nothing of the tender heart inside that aches for more. “Hello,” he says quietly, wishing for his sister’s exuberance and confidence.
