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  • Beqanna

    version 22: awakening


    GHAUL -- Year 209


    "(souls are not meant to live more than once — death was not meant to be temporary, and she is so sure that every time her heart starts to beat again that irreversible damage is further inflicted)" -- Anonya, written by Colby

    Dust and devils on my conscious // Any


    I have to go. My feet won't hold still, even when I'm standing in place. Irascible energy that demands to be spent, and so I move. Pointlessly, at first. Before I find a direction in going back the way I came. Back through where I've been. When the sky becomes a blue lace through golden leaves, a fractal pattern that spreads in all directions, that is when my feet let me rest. 

    I breath as deeply as my bloody chest allows. There's a trail of blood that's dripped and dropped every step of my journey here. Through riverland and Loessian foothills. And now it puddles at my feet. Stains the thickly fallen leaves where it falls. I've gotten used to it, I think. 

    I'm so tired though. I have traveled here without rest, without pause, and I'm paying for it now. My head is spinning with lack of food or sleep, but I smile anyway. I am dizzy, but if my own thoughts are blurry, so are the Voices. They are a dull murmur in the back of my mind, and that in itself is relief. 

    Wan and stumbling, I'm still smiling. 

    I have missed these woods. More than I realized before I stepped foot in them again. The scent of leaves and sap and eternal autumn air is a balm on my soul, though it carries as much sorrow as peace. Here was my home, for a time. Here was the height of my story before the cracks began to show. 

    With lightheaded steps I move deeper into the trees. Looking for something, I think. I can't remember what, but I think it's near. 

    I wanna be Immortal, like a God in the sky

    I wanna be a silk flower, like I'm never gonna die

    Photo by Kareva Margarita

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