07-05-2020, 10:09 PM
choke them on the ashes of the dreams they burned
He thinks about her even though he shouldn’t.
He thinks about how someone could be so beautiful while brimming with sorrow, so full it spills over the sides. He wonders if that is why he finds Despoina beautiful; why she is irresistible. He could try to drain her and never reach the bottom, he is sure of it, but what a sick, twisted thought that is to have. To be delighted at finding someone so endlessly broken, and instead of wanting to fix her, he is secretly hoping that it never happens.
It was why he tried to stay away. He sought others when seeking relief for all his urges – to sleep with, to feed off, to attack. He thinks of Breckin and the young girl in the forest, and if he allows himself, he feels guilty, but not the same as if he did those things to Despoina.
He didn’t want to use her. He didn’t want her to be someone he sought out only when he was hungry or tired of being alone.
And yet here he is, a shadow rolling through the trees, searching for her. Somewhere inside of him, a heart still beats, and that is the only thing that sets him apart from the shadows themselves. Because that heart of his still feels, it still feeds emotion and empathy into a mind that could easily be lost.
He finds her, and his heart squeezes, and at first, he just watches her, silent. He is undetectable like this, save for the glow of his eyes. He does not wait for her to turn around, and instead, the smoke of his voice unfurls, snaking until it reaches her, “Despoina.”
He thinks about how someone could be so beautiful while brimming with sorrow, so full it spills over the sides. He wonders if that is why he finds Despoina beautiful; why she is irresistible. He could try to drain her and never reach the bottom, he is sure of it, but what a sick, twisted thought that is to have. To be delighted at finding someone so endlessly broken, and instead of wanting to fix her, he is secretly hoping that it never happens.
It was why he tried to stay away. He sought others when seeking relief for all his urges – to sleep with, to feed off, to attack. He thinks of Breckin and the young girl in the forest, and if he allows himself, he feels guilty, but not the same as if he did those things to Despoina.
He didn’t want to use her. He didn’t want her to be someone he sought out only when he was hungry or tired of being alone.
And yet here he is, a shadow rolling through the trees, searching for her. Somewhere inside of him, a heart still beats, and that is the only thing that sets him apart from the shadows themselves. Because that heart of his still feels, it still feeds emotion and empathy into a mind that could easily be lost.
He finds her, and his heart squeezes, and at first, he just watches her, silent. He is undetectable like this, save for the glow of his eyes. He does not wait for her to turn around, and instead, the smoke of his voice unfurls, snaking until it reaches her, “Despoina.”
torryn
