09-27-2020, 09:19 PM
Sabbath remembers being small - the snow, the sad look in Leliana’s eyes, and her father begging them to come home. She remembers being afraid and lost. But the memory of her mother weeping in a dungeon is sharp enough to cut her open still. Her mother suffered at the hands of those she loved most, including Sabbath. Now the image haunts her and she torments herself with the weight of it.
Even now, as Varick swears he won’t hurt their son, she doesn’t believe him. Didn’t she love Leliana when she abandoned her? Did Vulgaris cherish her when he locked her away? What had their weeping hearts done for her in her hour of need other than punish her? Sabbath knows that a lie rarely begins as a lie - it is born a truth and then it decays into heartbreak. She has watched honest men betray their own words to put her faith in him now.
She recoils sharply at his touch and the warmth it brings. Sabbath has trained herself to hate that sort of kindness no matter how good it feels. (Her mind toys with the idea of creeping back, of letting him embrace her just once, but she drives a knife through the thought without hesitation.)
“Everyone hurts me eventually, Varick,” she explains as she retreats further from him to keep from reaching out and caressing him once more. “So don’t apologize once you inevitably do. Just tell me I was right. I much prefer to hear those words.”
And then she lowers herself to curl around Crowns, resting her chin on his small ribs to feel the steady rhythm of his heart.
Even now, as Varick swears he won’t hurt their son, she doesn’t believe him. Didn’t she love Leliana when she abandoned her? Did Vulgaris cherish her when he locked her away? What had their weeping hearts done for her in her hour of need other than punish her? Sabbath knows that a lie rarely begins as a lie - it is born a truth and then it decays into heartbreak. She has watched honest men betray their own words to put her faith in him now.
She recoils sharply at his touch and the warmth it brings. Sabbath has trained herself to hate that sort of kindness no matter how good it feels. (Her mind toys with the idea of creeping back, of letting him embrace her just once, but she drives a knife through the thought without hesitation.)
“Everyone hurts me eventually, Varick,” she explains as she retreats further from him to keep from reaching out and caressing him once more. “So don’t apologize once you inevitably do. Just tell me I was right. I much prefer to hear those words.”
And then she lowers herself to curl around Crowns, resting her chin on his small ribs to feel the steady rhythm of his heart.
may my enemies live long so they can see me prosper.
sabbath