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    COTY

    Assailant -- Year 226

    QOTY

    "But the dream, the echo, slips from him as quickly as he had found it and as consciousness comes to him (a slap and not the gentle waves of oceanic tides), it dissolves entirely. His muscles relax as the cold claims him again, as the numbness sets in, and when his grey eyes open, there’s nothing but the faint after burn of a dream often trod and never remembered." --Brigade, written by Laura


    [private]  Let me hear you say you want it all; Beryl
    #11

    He remains oblivious to the shame in her eyes as he stares up at the canopy above him in faint wonder. How long has it been since he last paused to admire the leaves? Ok, well, not actually that long. He’d been doing just that before she barreled right into him. But still, seems like forever ago.

    But perhaps one of the best things about Cassian is that he could never hold onto a grudge. Couldn’t even seem to be moved to anger all that often, if we’re being honest. Even now, just moments after she’d tried to eat his nose, he holds no blame or ill will towards her. In fact, he’d be hard pressed to believe she actually meant to do it. After all, if she had, he would certainly be dead.

    And when he finally does manage to shuffle into a more sternal position, the guilt on her features ensures he would never believe it.

    He doesn’t notice the blood dripping down his nose as he blinks at her, the words she is speaking not registering until moments later. He frowns briefly before releasing an amused snort (though the pain caused by the rapidly expelled air reminds him that maybe he should refrain from that for a bit. If he could remember to, that is). In a bit of a prodding tone, he replies, “Why should I have to leave?” His lips twitch as he fights a smile that wants to sneak onto them. “I was here first.”

    It doesn’t take long for him to lose the battle to the rising grin, though it quickly turns a bit chagrined. “Besides, I’m not quite sure I’m ready to tell Mom why she has to heal me,” he sighs, an expression of contrived despondency crossing his features, “again.”

    Cassian


    @[Beryl]
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    #12
    She's tired of being sorry, but she never apologizes. She has never stopped and tasted those words, only the bitterness of regret and shame sharp on her tongue as she runs from one devastating misadventure to the next. Why should today be different? She doesn't apologize, she avoids his gaze so fervently that the corners of her eyes actually ache with the effort of it and she can barely see him past the sparkling fuzz that blurs her vision at its edges. Her words are always wrong, her actions always too far, so what is the point of sorry? What does it fix? The only thing she ever learns from her mistakes is that she will make them again and again.

    From her place in the soft earth stained with sweat and blood (and tears; her own,) she hears his retort and the golden mare is nodding sullenly in agreement before she realizes. Why should he leave? It's her that runs, that always needs to escape herself, but she hasn't got the strength. The rage that filled her has left in its wake a foggy weakness that hurts her lungs and her throat and her heart, so she only sighs heavily, breathing deep against the constricting muscles of her chest and savoring the pain that cuts through everything else, that brings the world into focus again.

    Cassian's casual mention of his mother makes her heart skip.

    Mama.

    Would things have been different if she hadn't been lost? If she hadn't ended up on the Isle she would have less reason to hate dragons. If Leilan hadn't found her she would have had no reason to go to Nerine. If she had never gone to Nerine, she couldn't have failed Lilliana, and Eurwen, and Brennen. She would not have killed the tigress, would not have crushed her with skyborne rock nor felt the wicked satisfaction of seeing her dead. Could it have been that easy to avoid everything? Oh, but her heart twinges at the thought of never knowing her father. Leilan. Incorrigible, unapologetic, always ready with a joke and a sharp-toothed smile. And a dragon. She forgave him for that so long ago she doesn't even remember when it happened, but it did, and now she sees a piece of him in the black stallion lying perpendicular to her, whose grin returns far sooner than it should.

    "I-- I'm..." I'm sorry. She still can't say it, even now.

    "Would you tell me about her?"

    Image by ratty


    @[Cassian] beryl has mom envy
    Reply
    #13

    If there is just one redeeming quality Cassian could claim, it is his ability to forgive. Or perhaps more accurately, his insistence at seeing the good in others. Because in this moment, he finds nothing that needs forgiveness, and certainly nothing that requires an apology. It’s probably strange, the way he views the world - the way he views others. But for all his many flaws and reckless foibles, he has never held hate in his heart.

    It is difficult for him to find seriousness in any situation, even this one. But the way her expression shifts, her entire demeanor nearly turning in on itself, brings a sense of gravity he rarely feels. An overwhelming part of him is suddenly struck by the urge to hug her. So much so that, even in his position on his ground, he tries to wriggle closer. Close enough that, if he stretches just a bit, he can rest his chin on her knee, brown eyes genuinely guileless as he peers up at her.

    By now he has entirely forgotten the blood drying on his nose or the threat she’d been just moments earlier. He sees only someone who very much needs a friend right now.

    He thinks for a moment about her question before answering, “She’s great.” A soft smile unconsciously begins to curve his lips, gaze going distant as he remembers his childhood. Or rather, childhoods. “She always sighed a lot when I used to get burrs in my hair, but she’d always pick them out for me.” He laughs then, though it sounds a bit strange with his neck stretched as it is. “My sister Casi used to make fun of me for it. Mom would just give her a look.” His grin widens. “It was the best look.”

    Cassian


    @[Beryl]
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