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  • Beqanna

    COTY

    Assailant -- Year 226

    QOTY

    "But the dream, the echo, slips from him as quickly as he had found it and as consciousness comes to him (a slap and not the gentle waves of oceanic tides), it dissolves entirely. His muscles relax as the cold claims him again, as the numbness sets in, and when his grey eyes open, there’s nothing but the faint after burn of a dream often trod and never remembered." --Brigade, written by Laura


    Just a moment, in a sea of moments; any
    #1
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    was it fair of her, after all this time, to come down from her safe place? To show her face? It kept her up at night, at first, the sight that she and Leilan had come back to. The charred bits of her home, the havoc that had invaded the North. She had slipped through the portal he had created unseen in the anger transpiring between Leilan, Lilli, and Yanhua. At first she had felt exhilarated, maybe even liberated, at what her and Leilan had accomplished. But, it had not escaped her ears the words that fell from her friends mouth directed at their king. The guilt was immediate, as if Lilli had been looking straight at her too. She shied away carrying her guilt with her.

    She had found herself tucked away in the Northern most region of Taiga. The waterfall that had cemented her mind in staying here when she had first arrived in Beqanna blocking out reality with its white noise. She knew she couldn't escape everything,  it had not taken long for Owin to track her down, Clarie in tow to make sure she was okay, but it was secluded enough for her. 

    Despite her efforts to douse the smallest of saplings, it had still gone wrong - completely and utterly wrong. Inadequate. She had gone to the mountain, she had tried to find a gift that could help, and yet she stood there unable to do anything right. Conflicted. She had gone with Leilan, no questions asked and she had taken action. Nothing inside of her told her that had been the wrong move, and yet the thought of staring Lilli and Yanhua in the eyes made her chest pull tight. 

    The blanket she had kept so close to her had broken, ripped in two, from the efforts of trying to protect her home and take action. When she had reached her waterfall all of those emotions she had kept locked away for years had tipped her apart. Not only once had she found herself jumping the falls, but many of time over and over again. 

    Anger. Loneliness. Failure. Inadequacy.  Abandonment. Peace. Happiness. Determination. Strength.

    They were all apart of who she was now. It was not an easy thing to descend with out her familiar peace clouding those things but her she finds herself, feet planted and shoulders wide, chest out. Ready to face what she must.

    Her amber and chocolate scales descend from the tips of her ears fading into the mid of her back, the purple glow sharp and tight around her. Her muscles had become hard and strong from jumping and climbing, jumping and climbing. The extra layers of fat and skin from previous years of childbirth and age shedding from her body. Her purple, stormy eyes search the oncoming treeline infront of her where the trees begin to thin out, most of the saplings she tried to protect charred and broken, a film of smoke coating the ones she had saved that had not had the luxury of being bathed in the storm that had followed. Though now snow had fallen taking with it some of the soot as it pressed gently against those redwoods lucky enough to stand before settling permanently on the ground. This is where she should have faced the chaos months ago.
    forget me not; but never remember
    Lethy


    She's back. Give her your worst or welcome her with open arms the choice is yours.
    IMG-20190524-092123-677
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    #2

    THE FEELING WAS ALWAYS TOO MUCH FOR ME /
    IT ALWAYS CAME TOO STRONG /
    I WANTED TO GET IT RIGHT SO BADLY /
    THAT I ALWAYS GOT IT WRONG /

    There is always something for Lilliana to worry about. Most days, there is a line of concern etched upon her red brow as the slender woman treads the Taigan trails. She worries about her children and the Forest that she calls home. She worries about where Lethia had vanished and she worries about the cool civility that she and Leilan keep. There is Brazen who grows sicker by the day and Warden who wraps himself with anguish. Neverwhere is never far from her thoughts and then there is Elena (who she wonders for, always).

    Lilli worries far too much and far too often.

    But she presses a kiss into the forehead of sweet Rosey who is eager to be off, already anticipating a visit from her father. Oren had gone off with Nashua, bubbling over like a stream after the spring thaw. When both of her children are gone and after a long look passes between Lilliana and her eldest, she slips between the shadows to go to Nerine. Her healing is gone but Lilli still intends to offer her warmth to Brazen on what promises to be another bright but bitter winter day on the moors. The chestnut mare shivers just thinking about the chill.

    The Taigan follows an old hoof path North and her mind is already dancing along the ledges and cliffs of Nerine.

    It's another reminder of how far Lilliana has traveled in this lifetime (has it only been one?)

    When the trees start to fall away, the flame-marked emerges from a small copse that reveals the purple glow of @[Izora Lethia]. Some time has passed since she has last seen the buckskin Matriarch (and Lilliana doesn't know that Lethia had heard the words that passed between her and Leilan). If Lethy had approached Lilli the season before, her reaction might have been different. It had been anger that greeted the Freyr when the pair had returned from attempting to drown Pangea. Her blue eyes sweep over Lethy and when they are satisfied that the buckskin isn't harmed or sick, Lilliana lifts her refined head to address her fellow Councilmember.

    "We've been worried about you," Lilli says first. That truth comes out in a plume of silver smoke that glitters in the winter sunshine before it evaporates. Yanhua and Nashua had both been concerned for her. Lilliana had as well. And she assumed that Leilan had probably wondered about his fellow dragon-horse when he visited the Taiga.

    Lilliana turns her head towards the trail that she had been traveling, indicating an invitation if Lethy wished it. "Want to tell me where you've been?"

    light of love - florence + the machine
    image credit to footybandit

    but it's all in the past, love
    it's all gone with the wind
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    #3
    The winter attempts its bite at her, landing its presence down her back side. The settling cold was a nice reprise from the feelings of failure that had begun to work their way into her mind, her dragon scales could not protect against such complexity as feelings.

    She could of easily wrapped that blanket of peace around her once again, smooth as silk... as easy as breathing. But she wanted to feel now.. needed to feel. She had not realized how complacent she had become beneath this gift that was ment to be shared and cherished. She had taken it for granted, she had abused it, and used it to her own advantage. She would feel this, all of this. Her purple eyes hardened as she took it in.

    The soft hoovesteps of Lilianna pulled her attention, her ears swiveling in her direction but she did not move. We've been worried about you. guilt dropped into her stomache as she continued to look at the burnt border infront of her for a moment before turning her half scaled body towards her dearest friend. Her rich, purple eyes gave her friend a once over to make sure that she too was healthy and safe -though she had had Owin keeping her somewhat up to speed on the going ons of Taiga and those she cared about while she had isolated herself.

    Being satisfied she gave her a small acknowledging smile. Where once her face had been soft and smooth edges, it was now sharp and chiseled, layered in amber and mocha scales. She accepts Lilli's offer and moves to walk beside her. I've been staying in an old spot of mine and Aten's for a bit. she took a deep breath,   after Pangea, I couldn't face Taiga.. I couldn't face you.. I couldn't even face myself... I needed some time. she knew it was a weak excuse. She hadn't been ashamed of what her and Leilan had done. She knew she wouldn't have been much help if she had stuck around, but she had left.  She kept her face forward, jawline hard.

    @[lilliana]
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    #4

    THE FEELING WAS ALWAYS TOO MUCH FOR ME /
    IT ALWAYS CAME TOO STRONG /
    I WANTED TO GET IT RIGHT SO BADLY /
    THAT I ALWAYS GOT IT WRONG /

    "So you heard me?" she asks because what else would have kept Lethia away? Lilliana's anger is a thing she shows very seldomly but when the little chestnut does wield it, it has always been more than capable of slicing someone with that silver tongue of hers. The Guardian feels herself being torn between wanting to apologize and keeping her fury over the Pangean attack in check.

    Lilli nods and then starts to walk, directing her attention to the trail ahead of them.

    The Matriarch tells her that she has been staying in a spot that she once shared with Taiga's Champion and for a moment, Lilliana grapples with her memories of Aten as well as her temper. There are flashes of the champagne Warlander patrolling the Redwoods. Images of the conversations they had once shared as he imparted the history that he knew of the Taiga. The few meetings he had called once he was leader of this forest again. The emptiness of it after and the sinking dread in knowing that there was truly nothing to protect them from-

    No. She won't even allow his ghost to linger here.

    "Why did you go?" the smaller mare asks curtly as her restraint slips. "I spent a year in captivity there. I could have told you both that they thrive on chaos." It's the most she has said to anybody about what happened in Pangea. Lethy is fixated on looking ahead - on forward -  as they should but Lilliana is still attempting to get her fellow leader to understand her reasoning, these ideals she wishes for the North. She glances at her friend sharply. "We act as one, Lethy, or this all falls apart. It doesn't work if you go one way and I another. If Leilan has his agenda and Nerine doesn't have one at all."


    light of love - florence + the machine
    image credit to footybandit



    @[Izora Lethia] welp somebody is a little spicy lol
    but it's all in the past, love
    it's all gone with the wind
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