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There is an instinct to flinch away from Gale when he comes to stand beside her but Mazikeen doesn’t let it surface. She’s tense, at first, but it doesn’t take long for her to relax into the offered hug. There’s a comfort in the touch she cannot name - even if it also tastes bitterly of pity. Another deep breath is interrupted by a soft laugh at his questions and she shifts enough just to press her head into his neck in a playful shove before pulling back and away. “I know we haven’t been friends long, but do you really think if someone had just taken it I wouldn’t have hunted them down myself?”
Her orange eyes still glitter but there’s no more fresh tears for now, thank the gods. “It was the fairies on the mountain, and it’s my own stupid fault.” And then she tells him everything. But she’s uncharacteristically quiet and distant while she does - her eyes are on some hazy point in the shadows instead of focused on his face like how she would normally. She doesn’t understand how she can both feel comfortable enough with Gale to explain this to him and wary of the fact that she wants him to see her as strong.
But considering how hard she had been sobbing just a few moments ago, she’s pretty sure that’s no longer a possibility. This Mazikeen is an echo of the one who had stood proudly bleeding on the beach after defeating a shadow creature. That one had been one to admire.
Certainly not this one, though she carries the scars from that day still.
And the truth is - she needs help. Because focusing on this quest on her own is not working.
She tells him about how she had gone to the mountain looking for more strength, a way to be better prepared to protect herself and those she cared for - because as much as she loved her shifting it not had saved her from dying as a yearling, losing in the Alliance (though this part she says now without bitterness, and even turns her head enough to give him a small smile), and having Breach stolen from right under her nose. How the fairy had taken her shifting and given her the task of learning to appreciate this horse form above all else.
“I won't give up on this quest but shifting was everything to me. It’s all I was. And now I just… keep focusing on what’s missing instead of trying to figure out what I could possibly appreciate about this shape.” The tension has worked its way back into her entire body until she feels like she might explode with it. She’s not sure what to expect from him - he’s only ever proven himself to be nice but she doesn’t want pity for the sake of it. She’s doing great feeling bad for herself all on her own.
Mazikeen’s afraid to turn and look at Gale but because she can name that fear, she faces it - faces him again, her intent orange gaze returned. “What you said about this being your favourite of my shapes. Why is it?”
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